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Hall of Shame: The worst jokes at Tory conference

30 September 2019

11:45 AM

30 September 2019

11:45 AM

Dying is easy, comedy is hard. It seems it’s even harder when you’re a Tory politician. Mr Steerpike has barely had time to pick himself up from the floor after this afternoon’s humorous offerings from the Conservative party conference stage, with dreadful jokes infiltrating both the speeches and the awkward panel discussions between ministers. Here are some of the worst. Please do let us know if you’ve come across any more howlers.

Jake Berry: The only homes we are not going to build in the North of England is Sherlock Holmes!

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Esther McVey: While the Conservative party is building homes for the future, the only thing the Labour Party is building is a Brexit fence to sit on!

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Liz Truss: I’ve just flown round the world meeting our key allies. I’ve spent more time in aircraft cabin than John Bercow has looking in the mirror.

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Ben Wallace: I thought you were going to ask me the question on men wearing make-up that I noticed in the news today, apparently the Army is consulting on men being allowed to wear make-up. The answer is, men will be able to wear make-up in the Army as long as it’s camouflage colour, really that’ll –
Liz Truss, interrupting: Given the amount of time you spend in make-up, Ben, you know…
[Wallace coldly ignores Truss and carries on talking].

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Dominic Raab: The truth is we Brits get a warm welcome almost everywhere in world.
Ok, maybe not in Luxembourg.
[A couple of audience members remember to laugh]

***

Steve Barclay: With so much delay, is it any wonder my friend Jacob has taken to lying down on the government front bench.

 


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