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Dear Mary solves Tim Martin’s Brexit dinner party problem

24 December 2017

9:00 AM

24 December 2017

9:00 AM

From Tim Martin

Q. I have campaigned vociferously for Brexit. In my own world of pubs, Leavers prevail. However, my wife insists I attend Remain-dominated dinner parties over Christmas, where I am as popular as Jonny Bairstow in an Aussie team talk. How can I ingratiate myself with the bourgeoisie?

A. Subtly encourage the inevitable kangaroo court atmosphere so the rival males can let off steam and use you as a verbal punchbag, asserting their masculinity and showing off in front of their wives. You might initiate a dispute on one of the Leave campaign’s less sound assertions and concede points so they can be seen to have ‘won’. Let Christmas spirit prevail as you use your own unpopularity to boost the group’s self-esteem.

This is an extract from Dear Mary’s Celebrity Problems Solved, which appears in the Christmas issue of the Spectator


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