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Coffee House General Election 2017 Steerpike

Gary Lineker to the rescue

25 May 2017

12:07 PM

25 May 2017

12:07 PM

Last month, Rachel Johnson managed to create a mini furore when it transpired that she had joined the Liberal Democrats. Given that the Mail on Sunday columnist has only ever voted Conservative in elections, the news came as a surprise to many — not least her brother Boris Johnson, the Foreign Secretary.

But has Rachel already got cold feet about her new home? In this week’s issue of The Spectator, Johnson gives reason to believe that she’s not completely loyal to the Liberal Democrats. She says that she recently got talking to Gary Lineker — aka ‘the people’s snowflake’ — who she decided is the ‘only proper opposition now’:

‘At the drunken dinner afterwards, the next step was clear. Gary (six million Twitter followers to Corbyn’s less than a million and the Lib Dems’ scant 184,000) should be the new Macron of the middle ground.’

It’s in this vein, that it was decided Lineker ought to lead a new party. And, what should this new party be called? Happily, the liberal elite were out in full force at the dinner to offer suggestions:

‘In the back room of Odette’s restaurant, some of Remain’s best brains — among them Jemima Khan, Piers Morgan, Emma Tucker and host Alain de Botton — stopped their jabber for a second. Alain’s wife Charlotte said, ‘Centre Forward’ into the hush. Boom! This was brilliant.’

Best no-one tell Tim Farron…

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