Now that everyone has stopped moaning about a lack of Olympic gold, focus has returned to another burning issue issue – why is Team GB’s kit so terrible?
Designed by Stella McCartney, critics have pointed out the blue-and-white stripes look more like a Saltire than a Union flag. Don’t even get me started on the gold and white tracksuits donned by our stars for the Opening Ceremony…
With her customary chippiness, McCartney has hit back at the naysayers, declaring that anyone that does not like the kit is clearly just stupid:
‘It’s taken me three years to do this, it’s not as easy as it looks and I think we need to be cut a little bit of slack. There are a million rules and regulations that people need to know about before they make an, a sort of, you know, an informed or educated decision about whether they like it or not.’
Judging on, ‘sort of, you know’, basic aesthetics is clearly where I have been going wrong.
Apparently it’s not just a lack of understanding of the intricacies of the Olympic fashion rules that makes you a philistine, but clearly it’s your little Englander outlook on the world – foreigners apparently love it:
‘You know, I think we as a nation can be a little bit negative at times… and I think we should, you know, all embrace it. The feeling I’m getting in London now, especially from the people who have come from all over the world to be here, I think everyone thinks it magnificent.’
The only magnificent thing Mr Steerpike can see here is a magnificent sense of self-importance.