The saying goes that the only silver lining at the end of a political career is the chance to read your own obituary without actually dying. For Giles Coren, the speculation that he had ‘quit Twitter’ was the twenty first century equivalent. It was not all good news though. After a characteristically bad tempered exchange with a rival critic, Coren’s account promptly disappeared for twenty-four hours. The obvious speculation that he had stormed off in one of his signature rages quickly brewed. His last words seemed to be:
‘F**k off Marina. It’s hurtful and bitchy and pompous. When I want career advice from you I’ll f**king ask for it.’
Not bad for a epitaph. Instead of outpourings of grief, more people claimed to be jealous of the ‘person that made him leave’. Eulogies ranged from ‘I can’t think of a better example of someone who can give it but not take it’ to ‘what an arse’. Perhaps most hurtful was the user who pointed out ‘the nicest thing I can say about Giles Coren is that his sister seems lovely.’ Debatable, but cutting nonetheless.
After a brief stint as the top trending topic and a little sleep, the Times’ mordacious scribe was back and full of explanations. Apparently he had ‘deleted acc [sic] by mistake trying to load new photo. People seemed so glad I’d left, I was shy to come back.’ Not too shy, obviously.
Normal service was soon resumed, with Coren comparing one user’s photo to a close up in a blue movie and correcting others’ use of the English language. And thus balance was restored to universe.