Mr S can’t help but notice that there is no Ukip peer among the list of the newly ennobled. This is surprising. Nigel Farage has survived attacks, smears and a helicopter crash. Surely ermine is the only way to stop him?

Back in the heady days of 2010, the coalition pledged to introduce a principle whereby peers were appointed according to vote share. One can only assume that they reached this agreement in expectation of receiving more votes.

Needless to say, there are plenty of jobs for the boys and girls. Party stooges Andrew Cooper, Arminka Helic and Chris Lennie will sit in the Upper House, together with a gaggle of Liberal Democrat councillors. And, of course, there are several donors among the list. The mother of parliaments, eh? It’s absurd.

Here is the list of party appointments

Conservative

Karren Brady CBE – Vice-Chairman of West Ham FC; Senior Non-Executive Director of the Syco and Arcadia Brands; Small Business Ambassador for the Conservative Party; and member of the Department for Culture, Media and Sport’s Women in Sport Advisory Board

Martin Callanan – former Conservative Member of the European Parliament for the North East of England; former Leader of the Conservative MEPs and of the European Conservatives and Reformists group

Carlyn Chisholm – senior volunteer in the Conservative Party; Co-Chairman of the Conservative Candidates Committee; former nurse

Andrew Cooper – former Director of Political Operations to the Conservative Party; founder and Board Director of Populus

Natalie Evans – Director of New Schools Network, an independent educational charity established to provide free advice and support for groups wanting to set up free schools

Michael Farmer – Founding Partner of RK Mine Finance Group; Trustee of the Kingham Hill Trust; Treasurer of the Conservative Party

Dido Harding – Chief Executive of TalkTalk Telecom Group PLC

Arminka Helic – government special adviser; leading adviser to government on preventing sexual violence in conflict

Nosheena Mobarik CBE – businesswoman; former Chairman of CBI Scotland; founder and convener of the Scotland Pakistan Network; Chairman of the Pakistan Britain Trade and Investment Forum

Sir Stuart Rose – former Chief Executive and Chairman of Marks and Spencer PLC

Joanna Shields OBE – leading technology industry executive and entrepreneur; the Prime Minister’s Digital Adviser; Chair of Tech City UK; and Non-Executive Director of the London Stock Exchange

Ranbir Suri – businessman; former General Secretary of the Board of British Sikhs

Labour Party

Michael Cashman CBE – Member of the European Parliament for the West Midlands constituency; equality rights campaigner; former actor

Chris Lennie – political strategist; former Deputy Secretary General of the Labour Party

Dame Gail Rebuck – businesswoman, publisher, chairman of Penguin Random House UK

Liberal Democrat Party

Chris Fox – Director of Group Communications for GKN; former Chief Executive of the Liberal Democrats

Cllr David Goddard – elected Member of Stockport Metropolitan Council; former Leader of Stockport Council; former Member of the Greater Manchester Police Authority; former Non-Executive Director of Manchester International Airport

Cllr Barbara Janke – elected Member and former Leader of Bristol City Council; former teacher

Cllr Kath Pinnock – elected Member and former Leader of Kirklees Council

Paul Scriven – managing partner for Scriven Consulting; former elected Member and Leader of Sheffield City Council; former senior NHS manager

Cllr Dr Julie Smith – elected Member of Newnham City Council; Senior Lecturer in International Relations in the Department of Politics and International Studies (POLIS) at Cambridge University; Fellow of Robinson College

Tags: Conservative, House of Lords, Labour, Liberal Democrats