The only question on lips this morning: Who is Joe? This mysterious character lurks on the pages of a new book by Natalie Rowe, a former prostitute and dominatrix who was once photographed with George Osborne. Rowe will only confirm that ‘Joe’ was ‘a young politician’ when she knew him and that he became a minister. It has been made very clear that ‘Joe’ is not the Chancellor of the Exchequer, so who is he?

‘There was a spark of attraction ­between us. We once had a snog at one of my parties and, as we chatted, he told me he’d never had a black girl before. Not because he didn’t want to, just because he never had the chance. Then he steered the topic around to ­domination, before asking: ‘Would you consider dominating me?’ I would, of course. I made it clear to Joe that our relationship would be strictly professional. That meant he would have to pay. ‘Of course,’ he said. ‘I understand.’ I explained how every client had a safe word – something to shout if I went beyond their pain threshold – then I’d stop the session. Joe chose Mary. I have no idea what the significance was and I didn’t think to ask. When we went to the bedroom he put the money on a side table – £350.’

Mr Steerpike will spare you the lurid details, but:

‘During the next session I got the impression he couldn’t quite believe what he was doing. It would have been more awkward without the coke to release his inhibitions. ‘Tell me how much you love and adore me,’ I’d demand as he sucked my heels and licked my shoe. It was tricky with Joe because he was a close friend. Normally, clients expected me to keep an emotional distance – the less they knew about me the better.’ 

Rowe and her agent Andrew Lownie will be laughing their heads off this morning, while someone in Whitehall is sweating it out.

Tags: Drugs, Politics, publishing, Scandal, Sex