A scientific study has revealed that the faces of Lego characters are no longer so mindlessly happy as they once were. This is an important thing to know. ‘Put the cancer cure stuff on hold for a while, will you – I’m deeply interested in the facial expressions of plastic toys.’

Anyway, once upon a time Lego men and women had the sort of smug, deluded, grins that one immediately associates with the gullible Danes who manufacture them. Denmark regularly tops the table of the countries with the most stupidly self-satisfied citizenry, a consequence of them stuffing themselves with pastries and bien pensant opinions day in and out. Now, though, the faces of these toys are said to show increasing amounts of ‘anger, puzzlement and confusion’, which suggests to me that their manufacture has been outsourced to somewhere like Moldova or Belarus or Manchester. Either that or the Danes have suddenly awoken from their narcoleptic stupor and have begun to see the world the way it really is.

Tags: Denmark, toys