The digital-age male is a pathetic creature. Shorn of all his old manly attributes, he has to puff himself up. He does this, as Clive Martin on Vice magazine pointed out recently, by ingesting large amounts creatine, lifting weights, thinking about his clothes (sorry, look), and calling everyone a legend, because if everyone is a legend then he must be a legend, too. We all become heroes, as Mike Skinner — legend! — said.

Oh, and he takes selfies. Lots and lots of selfies. Witness the latest #cockinasock fad: men snapping themselves naked, their penises in socks, their torsos tensed, so as to post the images online in the name of raising awareness and/or money for testicular cancer. This craze seems to be a response or rival to the softer — but also narcissistic — #nomakeupselfie thing doing the social media rounds at the moment, which involves women taking pictures of themselves sans make-up for breast cancer.

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The trend for mixing charity and exhibitionism used to be reserved for self-obsessed celebrities on Comic Relief. Now, with the help of technology, it is open to everyone. But the exhibitionism element is reaching feverish, insane levels. Nothing is too outrageous or vain as long as it is done for a good cause. This is driven in part by self-love, obviously — an urge to show your goodness to everyone. But is it not also an odd form of self-hate, a desire to humiliate oneself in public?
Don’t say so, if you agree, because you will be a deemed a hater, an enemy of the common goodness. As a cock-in-a-sock poster says, ‘Sorry if seeing a man wearing something like this (picture of cock-sock) offends you. Maybe you prefer to see you or your loved ones suffering with cancer!’

LOL! Where will we go next? Wanking for Children in Need? Don’t be a hater! Be a masturbator!

Tags: Charity, cockinasock, Male