If you want a laugh, and I suspect you do, take a look at the Team Scotland parade uniform for the 2014 Glasgow Commonwealth Games. It’s awful. A kilt that looks like a picnic blanket (note to English: not all kilts look like picnic blankets) and a lurid blue shirt that looks like a headache waiting to happen. It’s an astonishing colour, at once mottled and shiny, like an old Magic Eye drawing. If you stare at it for long enough, and allow your eyes to go funny, you can totally make out exactly why you don’t live in Glasgow.

Scotland being Scotland, and this being now, all of this stuff matters hugely. Poor Salmond must be furious. I mean, he’s not going to go and pose for a group photo with that lot, is he? It would be a disaster. He’d look like a slug atop a cupcake. Although, in fairness, the other side can’t do much with this either.You look at these poor athletes trussed up like fools, and you don’t exactly think ‘Better Together’. More ‘Better In The Altogether’.

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This is an extract from Hugo Rifkind’s column in this week’s Spectator. In the above BBC clip, the designer says it has ‘been a learning curve’. Quite. The BBC presenter refers to ‘one Hugh Rifkind’s’ tweet (below). Obviously not a Spectator reader.


Tags: Alex Salmond, Commonwealth Games, Glasgow, Scotland