Culture House Daily

I’d like to share my favourite violent pop video with you

19 August 2014

2:03 PM

19 August 2014

2:03 PM

This week has seen the Prime Minister playing Mary Whitehouse again. On Monday he announced that, as of October, music videos on sites like YouTube and Vevo are to carry age classifications similar to those already in place for feature films. You can read the subtext on his ‘deeply concerned’ brow: ‘if this is what it takes to get a majority…’

In principle, it’s hard to object too much. CDs (if anyone still buys them) carry parental guidance stickers, and a lot of comic books have a ratings system. Video games and DVDs follow the same British film classification board traffic-light system as cinema releases. Unless you take particular issue with any of this, you can’t really do much but shrug.

But then you clock how ineffectual the whole thing is.

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For a start, there’s no plan to extend the age restriction beyond music videos. Your child won’t be allowed to watch Miley Cyrus do suggestive things to machinery, so he’ll have to make do with Syrian government clips of rebels being incinerated in air strikes. Robin Thicke may well be a creepy berk, but as corrosive spectacle goes, that ‘Blurred Lines’ video was hardly up there with the ISIS channel. (The former, incidentally, does not legitimise the latter.)

Perhaps that’s spurious (though I don’t think it is, entirely), but the real problem is that the restrictions will be like trying to stop a tank with a toy. The traffic-light classifications work because there’s an adult there to judge your age when you buy a ticket. When I was 13, a friend and I were turned down for a 12-rated film, and then got charged the adult fare on the bus home. The humiliation was alleviated when we bought a VHS of Oliver Stone’s Platoon (a 15) in a charity shop. There is always a way for kids to get around these restrictions.

For the new system, though, they won’t even need one. The most YouTube can do to filter saucy music vids is pop up a little box asking you to confirm you’re over 16. The very question is an insult to the intelligence of 12 year olds everywhere. Come on: what kind of pre-teen loser is actually going to tick ‘no’? There’s (very) vague talk of a ‘customised parental filter function’, but this works on the assumption that parents can be arsed and children don’t lie. It will be infallible, obviously.

To round this off, I thought I’d share my favourite violent pop video with you. The song is terrible, but as a video nasty, it’s peerless. While you’re watching, bare in mind that I was first alerted to it by my then 12-year-old sister. Enjoy.

 

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Show comments
  • Jeff Sulman

    Would not happen in America. Eventually they would come across somebody with a conciel and carry permit and he would end this before it started

  • Liz

    I like how he adjusted his rear view mirror.

  • Pootles

    Anyone any sensible idea as to why some members of certain ethnic minorities seem only too willing to stereotype themselves?

    • Right-Minded

      Yes, because the liberals who rule over us in all walks of life will protect them without hesitation. So they may continue to pillage and burn our once great towns and cities safe in the knowledge their skin colour will protect them from reproach or even silent judgement.

  • Blindsideflanker

    Must be seeing someone light up a cigarette which makes it such a video nasty.

  • Ricky Strong

    To anyone who thinks that last video is just that – a made up video, I can assure you that is what inner city life is like in this country. The women in that video who were beaten up for no apparent reason, that was mum 5 years ago. Mugged in a car park and beaten so badly she had a hysterectomy. The people minding their own business, that was my friend who got stabbed 16 times last year for being in the wrong place. Sitting in a bar enjoying a beer. That was me last year before getting my head smashed in for simply trying to help someone who had been knocked unconscious.

    The sheer contempt I have for those who try and tell me I am the one who needs to embrace multiculturalism is insurmountable.

    • Wessex Man

      Where do you live Gotham City?

      • Ricky Strong

        That wouldn’t be so bad, at least I’d have Batman lurking about. I unfortunately live in Birmingham city centre in an area that straddles Ladywood.

        It is no joke when i say that a stroll to the bus stop on a Friday night would include walking past a housing complex for newly released prisoners (hence the sharp increase in burglaries on my road), usually two or three prostitutes on the main road, endless amounts of weed being smoked and probably a couple of drug dealers in cars lurking about. Only this Saturday a guy was stabbed in the local shop and about three weeks ago two rival gangs were playing with their new guns.

        You’re most welcome to come and visit, there’s some lovely architecture and I keep a good stock of single malts.

        • Harry Pond

          You should stop in and play Grand Theft Auto. What about taking the White Flight bus like the rest of us have?

          • Ricky Strong

            As soon I can afford to move to the country I certainly will, I’m here more out of necessity than choice.

            Never really played GTA, though having lived in Birmingham I can now converse in ghetto speak – get me blood.

            • Jason Fonch

              thats france though isnt it

        • Right-Minded

          Ladywood, I feel your pain my friend – can’t you get on to your local MP for some action? or don’t you think Ms. Mahmoud will be very receptive haha.

          I live in Perry Barr (same story), you just have to weigh the cheap living and short commute with the constant threat of racist abuse and stabbings. Something tells me my MP Mr. Mahmoud won’t be too receptive either…

          • Ricky Strong

            My local MP is Gisela Stuart so I think any notion of doing something for the community is rather far fetched. I have never seen my local MP, no-one has ever knocked on my door be it a councillor or an MP. The only authority that knocks on my door is the Police when some poor soul has had their house burgled.

            Perry Bar you say. My most sincere sympathies my friend.

            • Right-Minded

              You can always tell how bad a constituency someone lives in by how comfortable Labour’s majority is. Suffice to say Perry Barr and Ladywood are two of the safest seats – says it all.
              Good luck friend.

          • Ricky Strong

            My local MP is Gisela Stuart so I think any notion of doing something for the community is rather far fetched. I have never seen my local MP, no-one has ever knocked on my door be it a councillor or an MP. The only authority that knocks on my door is the Police when some poor soul has had their house burgled.

            Perry Bar you say. My most sincere sympathies my friend.

          • evad666

            Obviously another area where the Labour Muslim Vote is paid for in underage white girls.

    • AngryPedant

      The last video is set in Paris.

  • rugby god

    horrific video nasty

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