Coffee House Culture House Daily

Ukip and the vicious politics of Eurovision

10 May 2014

8:15 PM

10 May 2014

8:15 PM

The Eurovision song contest has just started – seven million of us will tune in, at least 30 million Eurovision-related drinks will be consumed and the voting will be deliciously political as always.  (Poland has entered again, perhaps just for the joy of being able to vote on Russia). But there’s plenty domestic politics too. Ukip’s Nigel Farage claims that Britain is doomed tonight because of discrimination against us. He obviously doesn’t follow the contest very closely – if he did, he’s struggle to name a single entry submitted by the BBC in the last few years that deserved to qualify for the final, far less win it. Nowhere in recent academic literature (and there’s plenty of it) will he find any suggestion of an anti-British bias (Victor Ginsburgh’s study of results since 1956 is pretty definitive).

In the Culture House/YouGov poll, we asked its 1,860 people: ‘Do you think Britain should or should not continue to compete in the Eurovision Song Contest?’ and it showed a clear breakdown on party political lines. The Liberal Democrats are the most enthusiastic for Eurovision, wanting to stay in by 54-27 – so a 27-point lead. With Labour, it’s a 14-point lead and Tories by a four-point margin. But UKIP voters are the real party poopers:  they want out, by a 27-point margin. The votes are below.

[Alt-Text]


Britain makes music for the world: we’re a massive exporter of both music and television. We should triumph in the world’s most-watched cultural event. The last time we did try – in 1997 – Britain scored the greatest victory in Eurovision’s history. Molly Smitten-Downes — a singer-songwriter with a half-decent tune – is one of our better entries for some time. We’ll see in a few hours.

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Show comments
  • Sapporo

    Actually, The song contest mirrors the way the EU
    and the UK establishment work. The British public voted for the sexy Polish
    girls, but the left-leaning liberal judges chose the Austrian drag queen. The
    voting is calculated 50% on the public vote and 50% on faceless judges. The
    prols cannot be trusted. This is modern democracy in Europe

  • Mike

    Couldn’t agree more with UKIP as just what is the point of the Eurovision Song Contest anymore.

    For years now its been a politically motivated piece of eurotrash with crap music and fixed juries and unlike 30+ years ago when hits like Puppet on A String or Waterloo became world hits, these days no one even hears about the winners.

    Just forget about about it and leave it to Brussels to waste their time on an outdated and pathetic entertainment.

  • Smithersjones2013

    Molly Smitten-Downes — a singer-songwriter with a half-decent tune – is
    one of our better entries for some time. We’ll see in a few hours.

    Half decent tune? Clearly Nelson knows less about popular music than he does politics (and being a Tory he knows sod all about politics ). Our Molly and her turgid piece of cliche got half the points of the despised Russian entry. What does that say about the politics of Eurovision? Yet another turgid dirge won it (I’ll avoid the other political dynamics of the winner) and proved that Eurovision has little or nothing to do with quality popular music.

    Seriously doesn’t Fraser know when he’s backing a loser. He must be a bookies dream!

  • XxXCoDPROSNIPERXxX

    When you don’t vote for the best song, because you hate the people from that country, you are a very sad person.
    And many many decided to act that way, clearly Russia was better then Austria, but brain deads from EU still spout and foam hate from their brains.
    Eurovision = 0 credibility, is just a show for ultras, nationalists, and geo political hate.

    • Trofim

      Don’t take it so seriously, you sour puss. It’s beyond absurd. That’s why people watch it. It’s pure frothy ludicrous nonsense.

  • Bill_der_Berg

    It would have been nice to hear Nick and the CleggTones singing ‘Jobs, Jobs, Jobs’, and the Van Rumpoy Sextet playing ‘Ever Closer Union’. Of the two, the Dutchman would probably have won most votes; at least he is sincere.

  • http://www.CaerphillyPreserves.co.uk/ No Good Boyo

    Given that no British act has won since 1997, and no British act has established a successful career since Bucks Fizz, why would any British record company blow a class act and a great song on Eurovision. The British entry’s mere presence in Eurovision pretty much defines them as second rate and expected to achieve nothing much.

  • London Calling

    I must admit I didn’t watch it Fraser, I cannot believe you sat through it either really, its like a bad Karaoke on a Friday night down at the Red Lion pub…….a good laugh though, but such a waste of time and money in my view……….seriously……..:OLOL

  • Bill_der_Berg

    The British entries were far better in the early years of the contest. Sandy Shaw’s ‘Puppet on a string’ was not only a tuneful ditty, it was also a prescient comment on the UK’s future relationship with the EU.

    • transponder

      Dreadful title, though. I wouldn’t be caught dead with a title like that for a song.

  • Symbiosis

    Bang on Fraser. I’m sure C4 would find us a winning entry. The BBC has really gone down hill. Where is the BBC equivalent of Unreported World?

  • Nkaplan

    To call this a cultural event is to fail to understand the word ‘culture.’

  • Szymon Baranowski

    Someone should investigate discrimination of Poles in England after this Eurovision.
    Common english voters gave Poland 1 place but ENGLISH ANTIPOLISH JURY gave us lowwest possible notes to bury votes for Poland in this year contest.

    What will you say to that? What’s wrong with your juries?

    BTW Mr Fraser if you wouldn’t be such westminded ignorant you would know Poland is far from being friendly to Russia… always and especially now!
    And i’m a Polish fan of Mr Farage and wish UKIP all the best.

    • Bill_der_Berg

      “Poland is far from being friendly to Russia”

      He was not implying that Poland wanted to vote FOR Russia.

      • Slavic Girl

        Sigh ..

  • Bill_der_Berg

    The recent record is pretty dismal. Perhaps Dave Cameron could negotiate a better deal.

    The important thing is to avoid coming first, because that lumbers you with the job of staging the contest next time round.

  • saffrin

    Up to 200,000 Romanians and Bulgarians now in UK
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/immigration/10822320/Up-to-200000-Romanians-and-Bulgarians-now-in-UK.html
    Good timing. 11 days and counting.

    • Slavic Girl

      very good indeed.

  • saffrin

    Unsurprising, a sick pervert wins the eurovision contest.
    No wonder the UK is leaving, nothing but a bunch of weirdo’s.

    • transponder

      Apostrophe-s never makes a plural. Try weirdos.

  • Honig

    Fraser
    You should be explaining why Sweden has dropped to 24th place in the Pearson/EIU education rankings, way below the UK, instead of worrying about the dreadful Eurovisionless song nonsense. And I am a supporter of free schools. What is going on? Your analysis please.

  • Denis_Cooper

    There’s an opinion poll in the Observer today which has UKIP on 20% support, and that is not for the forthcoming EU Parliament elections but for the next general election.

    http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/may/10/latest-observer-opinium-poll-shows-ukip-gains

    I guess that this opinion poll will prove to be an outlier, but with UKIP having added another 2% its current polling average may turn out to be about 16%, and the rise in its support is hitting both the Tories and Labour to comparable extents.

    The interesting thing is the predicted outcome of the next general election on the basis of the numbers in this single opinion poll:

    http://www.electoralcalculus.co.uk/cgi-bin/usercode.pl?CON=29&TVCON=&LAB=33&TVLAB=&LIB=9&TVLIB=&UKIP=20&region=All+GB+changed+seats&boundary=2010&seat=–Show+all–&minorparties=Y

    Labour 33%, that gets them 347 MPs
    Tories 29%, that gets them 249 MPs
    LibDems 9%, that gets them 26 MPs

    But

    UKIP 20%, that gets them zero MPs.

    In fact UKIP would need to add maybe 4% more before it started to get any MPs, and even then the seats which are identified as having fallen to UKIP seem very unlikely cases.

    There is clearly something wrong with our system of representative democracy when the views of a fifth or even a quarter of the electorate can be completely unrepresented in Parliament.

    • southerner

      Christopher Booker in the telegraph today (someone who, unlike most who post on here, understands the EU and whose book “The Great Deception” is essential reading) destroys the Camerluvvie claim for renegotiation.
      Something of course that those of us with half a brain and the remotest reading of history have known for years.

      • Denis_Cooper

        I’ve just read Cameron’s article, and what a load of bollocks it is.

        • southerner

          Indeed. I expected utter crap from top to bottom and he didn’t disappoint.

    • Colonel Mustard

      Compare Labour’s 4% advantage and 98 more seats with the Tories 2010 7% advantage and only 48 more seats.

      Something certainly stinks.

      • Alexsandr

        denis and the colonel. Its too easy to look at percentages and apply them uniformly to seats across the country. It aint as simple as that. Local factors will give a very different outcome. You see.

        • Denis_Cooper

          Well, I think Electoral Calculus may be attempting to take some of that into account. The LibDems are predicted to keep so many seats on such a low percentage because their support is relatively concentrated, while UKIP’s is more widely spread.

          • Wessex Man

            We love to spread our love!

      • Denis_Cooper

        The LibDems blocked the boundary changes, so the inherent bias of the electoral system in favour of Labour will still be there, either the same as in 2010 or a bit more or a bit less. That is why it would be a nonsense for commentators to talk about the Tories and Labour being “neck-and-neck” even if they did have the same poll ratings. In fact the likelihood that the Tories will get an overall majority in 2015 is probably about the same as the likelihood that UKIP will get some MPs; at present the Tories are short of maybe 10% to get a majority, and UKIP is short of maybe 10% to get some MPs.

      • the viceroy’s gin

        Lab and the LD’s are a lefty tag team. The floating lefty vote will stay only with them, and sometimes revert strongly back to Lab.

        Of course, Cameron is part of that lefty tag team as well. He gets tagged but there is no (conservative) team.

        Now, UKIP may be able to pick up some of that tag team.

        • Denis_Cooper

          Some of those floating lefties have now floated over to UKIP, but after first floating to Labour. When the Tories give their gloss on the details of opinion polls and whine that UKIP is taking far more support away from them than from Labour, apparently it doesn’t strike them as a bit peculiar that UKIP has apparently been more successful in attracting people away from the LibDems than from Labour. But of course the pollsters only ask UKIP supporters who they had voted for in 2010, they don’t ask which party they had been supporting later when they decided to switch to UKIP. Given that by early 2011 about 60% of those who had voted LibDem in the general election had deserted them, and it is obvious that most of those floaters away from the LIbDems had floated to Labour, this does put a different perspective on the question of where UKIP is now drawing the increases in its support.

          • the viceroy’s gin

            Agreed, and the surest tell of that is that Lab recently went into a rage at UKIP, when previously they’d sat silent and smirking as they reckoned it was only the Cameroons who were being nicked by UKIP. Now they seem to know better.

            I don’t think electoralcalcalculus.com has quite modeled this phenomenon. It’s a brave job they’ve done, but today’s electoral field of battle has become far more complex than their model was set up to analyze. You’ve described just a part of that increased complexity, and there is likely much more.

            If you play with it, their model says UKIP has to have at least 22% to get a seat, which sounds fairly reasonable, if high. But the model doesn’t appear sensitive to changes in Lab’s electoral draw, as regards UKIP. I moved up and down on Lab’s potential counts, and only at the extreme ends of their potential range was UKIP’s MP count affected. That tells me their model is tuned more to a give/take relationship between UKIP and the Cameroons, and less tuned to a give/take between UKIP and Lab. That doesn’t feel right to me, and it doesn’t seem to describe the situation you describe above.

            Their model likely describes a UKIP/Cameroon relationship, as well as a Lab/LD relationship. That won’t work in the newer environment, which may require more and more refined relationships. It’s early though. They’ll likely tune their model as we go along here.

            • Denis_Cooper

              I don’t think it’s particularly reliable, not least because when I played with it I found the very first seat to be won by UKIP would be Aberdeenshire West and Kincardine, which doesn’t seem very likely. It’s no more than a very rough guide.

    • the viceroy’s gin

      Another poll recently, perhaps you posted it, said about 60% of May 22 UKIP voters will vote UKIP in 2015. So if UKIP takes 40% on May 22, that means they’re theoretically set for 24% in 2015, and that doesn’t include fresh voters who rise to them in the meantime .

      I wouldn’t be surprised that you could turn up a poll putting UKIP on 20% of the GE vote today. Like you, I wouldn’t weight it highly, but it’s obvious that the data is trending in UKIP’s direction.

      But the only polls that truly interest me right now are the local elections. I think it’s clear that people are mistrustful of the EU, and the EP vote will certainly reflect that, but it’s the local trends that bear watching over the longer term. UKIP is a grassroots organization, and requires a proper yardstick to measure.

      • Denis_Cooper

        Well, it was the only fresh poll that came up when I looked earlier this morning, but there are a couple more:

        http://ukpollingreport.co.uk/blog/archives/8776

        “There are three voting intention polls in the Sunday papers. The regular YouGov/Sunday Times poll has topline figures of CON 31%, LAB 38%, LDEM 9%, UKIP 13% …”

        “Meanwhile Opinium in the Observer has topline figures of CON 29%(-3), LAB 33%(-1), LDEM 9%(+2), UKIP 20%(+2). Opinion tend to give UKIP some of their highest scores but even by those standards its a high score … ”

        “Finally Survation for the Mail on Sunday have topline figures of CON 28%, LAB 34%, LDEM 10%, UKIP 20%. Survation are the other company that tends to give UKIP their highest scores but again the 20% is the highest since last summer. They also have European election voting intentions which stand at CON 21%, LAB 28%, LD 9%, UKIP 32%, GRN 5% …”

        • the viceroy’s gin

          YouGov is just a flat nothing. I’m wondering if it’s just to be ignored? It rarely shows temporary trends, and has been nearly flat over the past month. That’s almost impossible. There almost has to be a few outliers with 5-10 point swings on a given day, indicating house effects or some anomalies or simply chatter and noise, and that normal activity should be reflected in their output. That’s if you’re dealing with a legit poll, which I’m not sure it is.

          • Airey Belvoir

            If the boss of YouGov shows the Tories too close to Labour he probably risks the rolling pin treatment from his wife.

    • Trofim

      Every time some well-known person is found to have murmured a word rhyming with trigger and receives the full anti-racist works, I think UKIP will gain a few more percentage points. Could we please arrange this.

    • Kennybhoy

      “There is clearly something wrong with our present system of representative democracy when the political views of a fifth or even a quarter of the electorate can be completely unrepresented in Parliament.”

      Yup. But you can get called a LibDem for pointing it out hereabouts…

      • Denis_Cooper

        Agreed!

    • dado_trunking

      Matey, I *told* you eighteen months ago that this would happen.

      Now it is an issue for you because when it happens to other parties it isn’t? Only when it affects you it matters? UKIP will get no seats, just like other minor parties got no/reduced seats before them, simply because FPTP is not a democratic electorial system. The main argument in defence of it is a non-argument: UKIP candidates are parachuted in just like with any other party. representation is not designed to represent. It is a system concocted by a ruling elite to keep things stable/undemocratic, call it what you wish, for as long as possible.

      There is however a chance to end that after the vote in September. The dissolution of the 1707 Act of Union is that chance.

  • Ukrevolutionary Reaper

    It’s because we are crap in it – A Brit and honest.

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  • Vote UKIP

    So you publish this article and then right underneath it is a plea for subscribers:

    “There’s never been a better time to subscribe. A year’s subscription to the print magazine, plus full online and app access from just £1 a week. Join us now.”

    A-ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha ha-ha-ha a-ha-ha ha.

    • jazz606

      You can get it on amazon kindle for £2.99 a month and it’s easy to cancel.

  • maurice12brady

    You’re a fool Nelson & the petty jibes you indulge in entertain nobody but your political masters! Grow up & do some real political reporting — at least try.

  • atticus1900

    Fraser, you really need to get out more. A sabbatical perhaps?

  • HookesLaw

    I don’t suppose we should be surprised at kippers fulminating over a gay bearded transvstite drag queen winning Eurovision but they should consider that they have a closer connection with europe than they mihghjt think since there were petitions in places like Austria claiming his appearance was making Europe a ‘hotbed for sodomy’.

    It goes to show we should have entered Lilly Savage years ago.

    • southerner

      “It goes to show we should have entered Lilly Savage years ago.”

      You enter him / her all you like old son.

      • transponder

        Woo hoo!!!! :^0

    • Alexsandr

      ahh, hooky is coming out as a Lily Savage fancier. I bet mr o’grady will be thrilled.

    • Colonel Mustard

      Pray tell Hooky what might a non-transvestite drag queen look like?

  • pehoh

    Lols, so weird that Britishers think that there is somehow a two-way conflict between Britain and the rest of Europe, just because they themselves hate other Europeans with such passion. Whether or not Britain participates in Eurovision, the EU or any other kind of Europe wide institution is mainly relevant for Britain itself. The idea that the kind of hicks who think Eurovision is “cultural” somehow take so much notice of Britain that they vote against its equally feeble contributions to the whole thing out of general principle is utterly laughable.

    • atticus1900

      I don’t know anyone in Britain who ‘hates Europeans’, least of all UKIP supporters.

      You need to realise there’s a difference between Europe/Europeans and the EU.

      • dado_trunking

        Indeed – UKIP only hates the hand that feeds it, not Europe.

        • the viceroy’s gin

          Do you feed the goat by hand, lad?

          • Denis_Cooper

            Yesterday he was being called “dildo-rail” by somebody on a Telegraph thread, who sidled up to him and said “Allow me to introduce myself …” in the hope of getting him to take the bait, which unfortunately he refused … I was still laughing half an hour later.

            • Guest

              Who by I wonder – does that profile still exist or has the chap been sent to a re-education camp?

              • Denis_Cooper

                You know who, you got the message but chose not to engage because you were afraid.

      • pehoh

        And you think if UKIP’s racist pensioner base keeps repeating this tired old line ad nauseam it will be eventually considered true?

        • jazz606

          You underestimate pensioners at your peril.

        • Alexsandr

          I hate the EU with a passion. but love going to Europe and indeed have family there. You are so wrong on this one.

        • Colonel Mustard

          “UKIP’s racist pensioner base”

          Interesting bigotry there. What is the opposite of that?

          “UAF’s fascist yoof base”?

        • transponder

          That’s just a slur. Slagging people off with ‘racist’ is no way to win an argument. It shows that you haven’t got any.

          • pehoh

            Just stating the bleeding obvious, not sure what “argument” you are referring too…

            • transponder

              I can’t draw you a diagram. You’re obviously a Lefty and by definition can’t accept a great deal of reality.

    • Colonel Mustard

      Silly comment. No-one has talked about “Britishers” since Major Von Grimm in War Picture Library in the 1960s, usually preceded by “Achtung, verdammte…”

      And you should differentiate between Europeans and the EU as a “government”.

      • Hexhamgeezer

        ‘Teufel!'(sp?)’ – that was a good ‘un.

      • pehoh

        “in the 1960s”: I was aiming for the 1940s actually, you know, where UKIP’s base tends to make its mental home.

        • transponder

          Another fact-free slur. It’s all you do, isn’t it? (Rhetorical question, which I think I should explain as you’re clearly thick.)

          • pehoh

            Achtung, Surrender!

            • transponder

              And your rejoinders are pathetic, as well. How about a nice English ‘sod off’ from me.

              • pehoh

                Ooooh, a proper English sod off even. I now stand corrected and accept that all my previous views were obviously incorrect. So help me Farage.

                • transponder

                  I’d give you an American one but you aren’t worth it. Now go and play in the street, little boy.

        • Colonel Mustard

          Looks like you missed then. And the comment becomes tasteless as well as silly.

      • Rallan

        Gott in Himmel!

  • stickytape

    Oh for good grief, the eurovision song contest is a waste of space, so is the euro, and so is the whole european ideal, and ever closer union, except, unless we wake up, then ever closer union is what we are going to get, oh, I see, that is what we’re going to get.

  • Ooh!MePurse!

    Dangerously close to voting Ukip right now! IT WAS NOT A WOMAN! And to suggest he is, is misogynistic.

    • HookesLaw

      I stretch my mind trying to link a contest containing both Israel and Russia with the European Union. But I cannot find any.

      • Wessex Man

        go and lie down then.

      • the viceroy’s gin

        Well, you brain does seem a bit rubbery, so a good stretch might be in order .

    • Alexsandr

      y1ts on BBC insisted oin calling it ‘She’ – wrong on so many fronts. He was clearly a bloke.

  • dado_trunking

    And again we are bang on the money.
    The UKIP loons are steaming with fury about the outcome.
    Both Ireland and Britain delivered 12 points.
    Scotland would have done too, if only it could.

    http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/culturehousedaily/2014/05/culture-zeitgeist-emnity-fraternity-sequins-its-eurovision-time-again/

    • the viceroy’s gin

      …how’d you and the goat and all your sockpuppets vote, lad?

      • dado_trunking

        What goat?
        UKIP loons have no idea what UK culture is.
        12 points from the UK go to Austria as predicted.

        • the viceroy’s gin

          …one of your other sockpuppets, the goat, lad. You know.

          How did you all vote, all of your sockpuppets?

          • dado_trunking

            What’s a sockpuppet? Can anyone translate this gibberish?
            Dawg Russell, where are you when we need you?

            • HookesLaw

              If only it were ranked as high as gibberish.

            • the viceroy’s gin

              Maybe you should ask the goat and all your sockpuppets what a sockpuppet is, lad.

              But we still need to know, how did you and the sockpuppets vote on all this?

              • dado_trunking

                Maybe you should ask your ‘sockpuppet’ Dawg Russell why he is still drunk, three days after the event – or has he hurt himself backstage?

                • the viceroy’s gin

                  Can any other of you socialist nutters translate this nutter’s gibberish?

  • misomiso

    Its all about the Voting system Fraser! Just like the European Parliament.

    There would be a lot more enthusiasm if there was a popular vote for the winner, rather than countries giving points it would be a lot fairer.

    And in the European Parliament, it takes 10 times as many Luxembourg votes to elect an MEP then it does a British MEP, and the ECJ is even more ridiculous. Maybe the Speccie should do a piece on institutional corruption in the Mathmatics on the EU?

    • the viceroy’s gin

      No, sorry, they’re very busy with important work, are these Speccie kids, as we can clearly see from this blogpost. So much to do… so little time.

      And there’s certainly no time to spend analyzing the EU or anything trivial like that. No need, is there? Just pile right in and enjoy, is the Speccie’s policy.

      Now, the song contest, there’s a subject worth taking apart and really studying, especially if there’s a way that waaaaaaycist Farage can be got to… er , I mean, that is, I meant to say…. if there’s a way to tie it in to current events somehow. .

      • dado_trunking

        Did your imam ask you to post this?

        • the viceroy’s gin

          …did the goat tell you to post this, or was it one of your other sockpuppets?

  • Hexhamgeezer

    Those Euro entrants in full;

    1) Ukraine – Wind and a hamster wheel

    2) Belarus – about a cheesecake

    3) Azerbaijan – Make love not war on a trapeze in a church

    4) Iceland – Showaddywaddy meets ZZ Top (without a song)

    5) Norway – Silent Storm with unintelligible singer

    6) Romania – Its a LOT like Tiesto

    7) Armenia – Big Grin Fireworks and a wind machine

    8) Montenegro – Riverdance meets Titanic on rollerblades

    9) Poland – Cultural supremacists
    meets Bucks Fizz with massive j^ggs

    10) Greece – Faliraki Failure on trampoline

    11) Austria – Cher with a beard singing “Waking in the
    Rubble”

    12) Germany – Just say nein

    13) Sweden – Undo My Sad (Presumably it’s an anagram)

    14) France – Jedward’s older brother sings “I want a
    moustache” (no really)

    15) Russia – a song on a see-saw with 2 sisters wielding
    chrome baseball bats

    16) Italy – lyrics include “Parking inappropriately”
    (didn’t think there was words for that in Italian) and “In the invasive drains”
    Agrippina goes to Ibiza

    17) Slovenia – Yet more songs about bleedin’ storms ( a
    feature of tonight)

    18) Finland – cleverest English words of the night relayed
    in meaningless random fashion

    19) Spain – more bleedin’ rain – but it doesn’t stop her dancing

    20) Switzerland – more rain and storms but with whistling
    and fireworks and a banjo

    21) Hungary – Creepy – Dad murders/molests daughter in a
    storm while she keeps running?

    22) Malta – soon to be seen down the your local?

    23) Denmark – More whistling and a ‘homage’ to Bruno Mars
    “Skuba Duba Dab-Ba DE De Di

    24) Netherlands – my winner Tom Petty and Friend sing nice
    toon

    25) San Marino – Move along folks, nothing to see here

    26) UK – why?

    • sfin

      Ha! Ha! – Brilliant!

      Just finished watching this (I live in Paris) and the French TV commentator (and usually, to their credit, they take the p1ss – just like Wogan and Norton) has just, in all seriousness , said that Austria’s victory is “a victory for tolerance in Europe”. Wogan was right to quit – citing the complete politicisation of what should be, after all, a song contest. Time to remove the ‘juries’ (who are they?) from the whole process.

      Molly Smitten- Downes effort was depressing in copying the Euro pappy cliché female power ballad drivel we used to laugh at when I was younger…

      …still, chacun à son gout, as they say over here.

      Netherlands? they’d have got my vote if they hadn’t lifted the rhythm from ‘Every Breath You Take’ – my vote went to the Finns.

      Great post.

      • you_kid

        every breathe you take
        every move you make
        every claim you stake
        sting will come to sue.

        • sfin

          Quite! – It wouldn’t surprise me!

        • Wessex Man

          oh dear, you never got to the more sinister part of the lyrics which are rather good in relation to the EU.

          • Colonel Mustard

            “I’ll be watching you…”

            https://twitter.com/EvaPascoe/status/464445471973318656/photo/1

            Tower Hamlets. Teemachus’ favourite place for shoe shopping.

            • Inverted Meniscus

              Why don’t we enter that idiot in next year’s contest? He could sing ‘shoeless and hungry in Tower Hamlets but still charismatic’. He could stick Ed Balls in the Hamster wheel which would entertain us all and the fat fool could do with losing weight. Indeed, with Harperson, Cooper and the Eagles singing harmony there is a good chance we could be thrown out of the EU let alone Eurovision.

              • john king

                Please I beg you..Do not make mention of Harman, (Harperson) without reminding the world of her collusion with paedophiles.
                Don’t let the country forget this evil woman (and her husband).

            • dado_trunking

              who needs a car in Tower Hamlets?

          • Ridcully

            Judging by the people who have apparently had this song played at their wedding receptions, it seems that quite a few of them never got to the sinister parts.

            • Wessex Man

              crazy isn’t it? or maybe they don’t thrust each other even as they walk up the aisle.

        • transponder

          I hated that song and still do. What a bore.

      • HookesLaw

        There are no juries – the public vote by phone or whatever. So the UK’s vote is down to the public. Given the way we vote in these other (lack of) talent contests – like ‘Strictly Diving Into Ice On Roller Skates’ – we should never be surprised at who wins.

        • sfin

          “Strictly Diving Into Ice On Roller Skates” – two chuckles in one night! – all was not lost!

          Seriously – the commentators here on France 3 – gave the impression of 50/ 50 (their words). 50% of the voting by the public (via costed means such as SMS, email – or even a ‘Eurovision App’!) and 50% of the voting going to ‘National juries’.

          I asked my French girlfriend (who’s in ‘the biz’ and a total euro-lefty) who the French jury were – she could name two out of the four…

          …the whole thing is open to manipulation by some committee or other and deserves to held up to ridicule – and not just for the quality(?) of the entrants.

          • the viceroy’s gin

            So there’s a pretext of “voting”, but the real decisions are made in the shadows, by a faceless committee?

            Hmmmmmmm, this all sounds familiar somehow… lemme think, and see if I come to it… hmmmmmmm.

          • JayneFoley

            There is a Jury vote that is done the night before. The public vote on the live show and that is then combined.

      • Jean de Valette

        Me too- the Finns were genuinely too good for Eurovision. God only knows what they were doing there but they got my vote.

      • Aethelflaed

        Victory for tolerance?

        The Victorians had bearded ladies, I am sure some sang; the Italian castrati were well loved and excellent musicians; pantomime is full of cross-dressing and I suspect Shakespeare had a few bearded ‘ladies’.

        Yet the blatent, nasty, unjust, racism was ignored and may have been encouraged – it shows tolerance to boo two young girls in a song contest just because they are Russian does it?

        • Colonel Mustard

          Yes, but the “victory for tolerance” bit is as faux as the peddled bogeyman of intolerance which is used to impose the real intolerance and coercion of political correctness. It is not enough to take tolerance for granted as it once was in England we must now “celebrate” it.

          The two Russian girls were only 17. The audience mob bullied and abused them in the most vile way but there will be no Operation Yewtree for that.

      • Ricky Strong

        Brilliant. This should have been the article.

      • Ridcully

        …and the tune to Denmark’s entry was lifted from “You to Me are Everything” by The Real Thing.

    • Erictheowl

      Spot on – invited to friend’s annual Eurovsion party, so tragically saw a lot of it, and you are 100% accurate. I thought the winner looked like the love-child of Kenny Everett and Danny La Rue channelling Shirley Bassey, but Cher with a beard absolutely covers it.

      • Alexsandr

        in the best poooooosible taste!

    • Wessex Man

      You are a Star!

    • Alexsandr

      did I miss some Ukrainian flatulence? :)

    • Ricky Strong

      Just brilliant. This should have been the main article.

    • Szymon Baranowski

      These polish supremacists got 1 place in votes from England… but antipolish english jury buried all votes proPoland this year. Irish actually the same. I guess thats a true proof of antiimigration agenda in english music industry. Sad because if England would have better song or Irish song would get into finals these “polish supremacists” would vote for it like they voted for Germany this year.

      • Hexhamgeezer

        Sorry, I replied earlier but the censors are going mental here. The supremacy I mention related to the lyrics jokey references to slavic’ women’s superiority in the bedroom department (not Polish supremacism). The ey3 candy was very impressive by the way.

    • transponder

      Just be glad they weren’t singing about mountains to climb. I loved that song where the singer sings about dying for you and then climbing a mountain. I suppose that after dying, climbing is all that’s left.

      • Hexhamgeezer

        Aye – and it all happens in a storm in the rain – probably.

    • Kennybhoy

      You rock Hex! :-)

  • MirthaTidville

    So how much more anti UKIP stuff is there still to come one wonders..only 12 days to go

    • the viceroy’s gin

      Heh. I chuckled that the kid actually published bar graphs with this one.

      Let’s repeat that. The muppet found the time to get bar graphs pulled together over some faceless song contest, and wrote up a political narrative.

      Now you know why this rag is going bankrupt, lad.

      • jazz606

        “……Now you know why this rag is going bankrupt, lad……”

        Yes it is becoming a rag. I blame Andrew Neil.

        • the viceroy’s gin

          Well, most of the ancients are seeing their dreams fail, in today’s media market. It’s not limited to just one or another of them. There’s really little chance for a hidebound publication, shackling itself in the Londonistan bubble, to make a profitable fist of it, unless a wealthy sugardaddy(s) is making good its losses.

      • oldestel

        Is it going bankrupt? I’ve cancelled my subscription because I’m not paying for knocking copy. I expect political comment with a conservative bent, not mindless support for the Tory Party.
        Fraser can campaign in his own time- not mine.

        • Paul

          I’ll be cancelling mine too.

        • the viceroy’s gin

          Well, it’s difficult to track the money transfers that keep smaller publications like this afloat (It’s easier with the NY TImes, Newsweek, Washington Post and other substantial publications which are or have been floated.) , but it shows all the signs of a lossmaker, which would put it in the plurality if not the majority of legacy publications.

          • oldestel

            Pity – there’s so much in the magazine that i enjoy.

            • the viceroy’s gin

              Well, other legacy publications trimmed the fat and kept the quality and tried to carry on. It could happen here as well. Their deadwood is in their current events and political writings. They could cut all that loose and save some cash, and keep the more attractive bits.

    • dado_trunking

      UKIP supporters have no idea what UK culture is.

      That is what we take away from tonight’s show.
      Top scores from Britain go to the winning tune.
      “This night is dedicted to everyone who believes in the future of piece and freedumb.”

      • Smithersjones2013

        You call that ‘culcha’? ROFLMAO! You’re too funny!

        You should be on X Factor……

        • dado_trunking

          I cannot help but think that you are not fluent in English. Did you not read what I wrote?
          Or is it semantics, fella?

    • Wessex Man

      It’s showing our ever growing popularity even in local papers where exrta space is being given to letters writers who are lining up to say, we are immature, confused, racist, intolerant and a will O the whisp(that’s just as it was written) yes they have lost all hope and now seek to frighten the electorate to obey!

    • John Dalton

      This really is so desperate and childish isn’t it? It’s like they are all sat round trying to find anything that can link into a smearing of UKIP. Don’t they read the comments on these pieces?

  • Aethelflaed

    Oh, yawn Fraser, another anti-Ukip post from you – give up for heavens sake and support democracy.

    Of course, you could say Ukip voters are more discerning, and know trash when they see/hear it. And, have better things to do.

    World’s most watched ‘cultural’ event !!!! I seem to remember it’s the kiss of death for a lot of performers; you don’t see the famous lining up to take their turn at the world’s cultural event, do you???

    • HookesLaw

      Are we not allowed to criticise UKIP? You should be grateful for Nelson permitting all you loons who think Farage f@rts sunbeams a place where you can get off.

      • oldestel

        “Are we not allowed to criticise UKIP? ”

        Of course you can. It’s just that it would be less boring if you gave it a rest occasionally.
        For the record: I’m so interested in the song contest that this article is the first I’ve heard of it recently. I thought it had died out with flared trousers – good riddance to both.

      • Wessex Man

        You make me laugh Hooky babe, never miss a smear or lie against Ukip in your relentless descent to the bottom, old boy!

        • Inverted Meniscus

          Actually, it would be quite a trick to fart sunbeams and such a person could probably count on my vote! I think he has ended up praising where he intended to insult.

          • Airey Belvoir

            Agreed. It would be a useful skill. With solar panels installed in the toilet bowl, a useful source of electricity, too.

    • Aethelflaed

      Mmmm ‘cultural’ is it? Seems to me more like a freak show with shades of Berlin racism. I watched the end and monitored Twitter at the same time. The tunes came second to the politics.

      The winner won not for the ‘music’ but because he was a platform for the brainwashed to parade the size of their ‘tolerance’ and hatred. Meanwhile these tolerant racists booed two 17 year old Russian girls whenever they got a point for their tune. Why? Because of EU/US propaganda on Ukraine, where the EU installed Junta is murdering its own people and blaming Russia:aided and abetted by the MSM!!

      Seems to me Ukip is an antidote to a pathologically degenerate culture: its members and voters, whom you also cause to be abused with you propaganda, are to be congratulated for staying true to themselves and having a moral backbone.

      • Colonel Mustard

        “The winner won not for the ‘music’ but because he was a platform for the brainwashed to parade the size of their ‘tolerance’ and hatred.”

        A very succinct appraisal.

        • James Lovelace

          No. The winner won because the people of Europe (even those in the supposedly gay-hating states of Ukraine, Lithuania, etc.) chose to send a clear message about the European values of tolerance for difference and for individual freedom.

          Even Graham Norton was wrong-footed about how those supposedly homophobic countries would vote. As far as I’m concerned, this and gay marriage laws show the people of Europe are rejecting religious fascism (most particularly: islamic fascism).

          • Colonel Mustard

            “No. The winner won because the people of Europe (even those in the supposedly gay-hating states of Ukraine, Lithuania, etc.) chose to send a clear message about the European values of tolerance for difference and for individual freedom.”

            That comment shows precisely that Aethelflaed’s appraisal is correct.

            You cannot possibly take ownership of the people of Europe and presume their message. What you can do and have done is to jump on the “I’m a good person too” bandwagon in order to declaim your “non-bigot” credentials and to slyly insinuate that others should conform to that clamour.

            Which you then contradict by inciting religious hatred since devout religionists are apparently not to be permitted the “difference” and “individual freedom” you trumpet for your pet causes.

          • Hexhamgeezer

            Gay marriage laws have not resulted from popular/democratic pressure. Whether pro or anti they have been imposed regardless of any ‘peoples’ with post facto justifications sprayed around by facilitators..

            • James Lovelace

              “Gay marriage laws have not resulted from popular/democratic pressure. ”

              I agree on that point. But that the people of Europe largely don’t care about gay marriage is a sign of how tolerant they are of homosexuality (and/or how little regard they now have for marriage).

              • Hexhamgeezer

                Which is where ‘hate’ laws come in to suppress any antis.

              • transponder

                Tolerance for homosexuality: good. Little regard for marriage: will prove disastrous, eventually.

            • transponder

              Which is to say, activist judges in courts of law.

          • the viceroy’s gin

            …then again, they may have been mocking you luvvies.

      • James Lovelace

        “Meanwhile these tolerant racists booed two 17 year old Russian girls whenever they got a point for their tune. Why? Because of EU/US propaganda on Ukraine, ”

        You seem to be unaware of just how gay eurovision is. I would have thought that having Graham Norton as the BBC compere might have given you a clue. Did the rainbow flags escape your attention? Did you not notice Norton reading out his messages coming in “from Dave and Mike in south London”?

        Russia was almost certainly booed for their increasing infractions on the human rights of gay people.

        I think the audience was rude and ill-mannered to boo 17 yo girls (who might be supporters of gay rights). But then since the OIC/BBC etc. all ignored Russia’s fascist actions towards gay people over Sochi, what other recourse does a (largely) gay audience have to express their hostility towards Russia?

        If you think that the disco dollies who pay through the nose to attend Eurovision have their heads full of the politics of the Russian satellite states, you don’t know many disco dollies.

        • Colonel Mustard

          Er, do you have statistics for this (largely) gay audience or are you viewing the event through the prism of your own preferences and prejudices?

          • James Lovelace

            Well, if the music industry & the people voting are not overwhelmingly gay, you bigots are truly screwed. The people of Europe who took part overwhelmingly chose the queerest contestant. Moreover, you are left with the uncomfortable prospect that all those 1000s in the audience have strong political opinions (which are shaped by the state/media).

            What a dystopia you have handed to your children and grandchildren.

            • the viceroy’s gin

              Again, how do you know those voters aren’t mocking you?

            • Colonel Mustard

              What a strange comment. The fact that some people are homosexual does not concern me at all. And I have commented on homosexual marriage here before – not at all bothered by it and good luck to anyone who embarks on any kind of marriage in this day and age.

              What does concern me is the sort of intolerance that you represent, so puffed up and righteous that any hint of anyone dissenting from what you think is immediately classified as “you bigots”. I was totally unaware that Eurovision was an exclusively gay event. Xien loi!

              The dystopia is being created by people like you.

              • MirthaTidville

                As you say Colonel, bigots which is precisely what Lovelace is. They only come out of their holes when a story like this can be conjured up so they can have a go at someone.Very prejudice friendly, to use their twisted and illogical jargon…although I prefer immature, which is precisely what they are

  • anncalba

    Oh please. Used to watch it for a laugh with my daughters when they were about 12 – 14. They and I havent watched it for the last 20 years. It’s irrelevant trivia, unless of course you are Danish.

    • transponder

      Or Austrian. Or….

  • Edward Spalton

    It might be worth staying in if Terry Wogan came as part of the deal

  • the viceroy’s gin

    “…the world’s most-watched cultural event.”

    .

    Huh? How’d you arrive at this fantastical claim? Do you seriously believe this? I Bet you can’t find 3 people in the Americas who have even heard of this thing. And we might as well not bother mentioning Asia, eh lad?

    • Tim Reed

      Putting ‘cultural’ in that description was where he went wrong.

    • transponder

      America. I live here and it’s a complete non-event as far as I know.

  • telemachus

    As far as I can see the main purpose of this post was to add yet another thread on Speccie with UKIP in the title
    Clever marketing
    Or electioneering for May 22

    • the viceroy’s gin

      Well, the Speccie kid has likely been instructed to quit shrieking “waaaaaaaaaycist” at UKIP, so the next smearing arrow in the Cameroon quiver must be this singalong overlaid on UKIP, or something.

      It’s a clumsy reach, but hey, nobody ever said the Camerluvvies were smart or anything.

      • southerner

        “…nobody ever said the Camerluvvies were smart or anything.”

        Well, Hooky did (and does so dozens of times a day even on stories entirely unrelated to the Camerloons) but he’s in love.

    • oldestel

      “As far as I can see the main purpose of this post was to add yet another thread on Speccie with UKIP in the title”

      Telemachus, you are the most boring poster in England but you serve a purpose: You provide a constant reminder to those who need it of how unelectable is the modern Labour Party.

  • you_kid

    Fraser, the UKIP tune about people power will fail to excite.

    The people of Europe already HAVE to power – not so Scotland.

    • Jonathan Burns

      Scotland has its own Parliament and sends more MPs to Westminster than it should. Typical Yes moaning about Westminster but happy to be submissive to Master Brussels.

      • HookesLaw

        I think you will find Scotland’s representation is pro rata. Before devolution it was not. If they get ‘devo max’ it should be reduced further.

        • Alexsandr

          but no resolution to the west lothian question. Or questioning the Barnet formula.

  • Alexsandr

    if we enter with cloned europop we will fail. we do some good pop music -we should enter with some of that.
    but in the UK its regarded as a joke so serious musicians shun it.
    there again not winning saves us the expense of staging the event next year. Shades of father ted and ‘my lovely horse’.

  • McClane

    We keep failing because the BBC picks the entrants.

    • HookesLaw

      Is it not done on a viewer poll? Or have they stopped that? I do not watch it but we should be grateful for Eurovision – they allow songs in English now.

      • glurk

        We fail because our entrants fail to raise an eyebrow let alone a pulse rate and certainly not a vote. Can you imagine having them inflicted on us at every available moment on media…be grateful.

    • Wessex Man

      No, we keep failing because they don’t like us, never have, because we saved them from so many dictators over the centuries and they know we will have to again.

    • transponder

      Yes but who cares? What do they get from winning, anyway?

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