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Tories, Tories everywhere

29 May 2014

7:07 PM

29 May 2014

7:07 PM

If you are a lobbyist looking to access a government minister but want to circumvent the tedious checks enforced by civil servants, then Newark-on-Trent is the town for you. This corner of Nottinghamshire is packed with reshuffle hopefuls and Tory big-wigs ‘doing their bit’ for the by-election bid.

Education minister Liz Truss had taken her mum and kids along. George Osborne was milling about while wearing his favourite high-viz jacket. And Theresa May brought her characteristic sparkle to the stump: the Home Secretary told assembled arm-chewing hacks that the Tories’ “excellent candidate” would secure the future for the hardworking people of Newark, you will be glad to hear. Said candidate, Robert Jenrick, rolled his eyes as he related how Owen Paterson had called him for the umpteenth time: ‘We’ve run out of flooded areas to take him round.’ It was riot, I tell you!

The Ukip baddies were never far away, though. Indeed, we were even treated to a glimpse of what a future Ukip / Tory pact might look like (above) when Matthew Hancock, resplendent in neon orange trainers, helped a campaigning kipper with directions. Hancock assures Mr S that he really did send the chap off to the right destination, although he was not amused when Mr S suggested that all these Tory ministers knocking on doors might drive voters into the arms of the purple peril.


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Show comments
  • EppingBlogger

    There used to be a pop song about purple people eaters, but I don’t think the Conservatives appetite up to that at the moment due to indegestion.

  • Denis_Cooper

    If the Survation poll is anywhere near correct then the Tories have lost the battle even if they retain the seat.

    http://survation.com/newark-by-election-poll-survation-the-sun/

    Tory share of the vote down by a third from 2010, 54% reduced to 36%.

    UKIP share of the vote up by a factor of seven, 4% increased to 28%

    LIbDem share of the vote cut by three quarters, 20% down to 5%, Labour share up by just under a quarter, 22% to 27%; if all the support lost by the LibDems was simply added to the previous Labour support then Labour would now be on 37%, but clearly Labour has also lost support to UKIP.

    There’s a pie chart giving a breakdown of UKIP’s support, but as always the question asked was how UKIP supporters had voted back in 2010, not which party they were supporting before they decided to switch their support to UKIP, so some large chunk of the 12% who say they voted LibDem in 2010 should be added to the 16% who say they voted Labour; at the extreme it would 28% from Labour, 51% from the Tories and 18% from those who did not vote at all in 2010.

    Obviously it will make little practical diffference in Parliament whether the Newark MP is Tory or UKIP for the next year; it’s all a matter of psychology, whether the old parties can stem the rise of UKIP and convince voters that its success on May 22nd was just a flash in the pan, and on the basis of the Survation poll the Tories haven’t been able to do that even though they’ve made such huge efforts to do so.

    In fact just the publication of this opinion poll could change the final outcome, one way or the other but probably in favour of UKIP.

  • hereward

    Come on Newark people . Continue the fight back against the EU enemy . It is no longer 1950 . Things are changing fast and the English will be the losers . Vote UKIP .

    • Makroon

      Hereward ? well, we’ve had Francis Drake, Boudicca etc. so why not ?
      I doubt we’ll get Nelson though, with all those Lascar, Chinese and West Indian sailors serving in the fleet, he wasn’t very ‘on message’.

  • Pier66

    We must win and we’ll win this by election,
    Tory FOR EVER!
    YNWA

    • Andrew Price

      Oh dear vote for a bunch of liberals. This former Tory voter will certainly not be voting for Cameron’s crew.

  • Kitty MLB

    Well of course Tories would be everywhere. This isn’t about having a seat on
    councils. This is about working for your constituencies who might not want to
    be thought of as a political experiment for other parties to have some experience.
    Although it would do them some good. And what people in that area do not need
    is wretched Labour or the Lib Dems.
    This is the politics that deals with peoples actual lives.

  • Lucy Sky Diamonds

    desperation.

  • Smithersjones2013

    Tories Tories Everywhere
    And Not A One Can Think…….

  • southerner

    Tories everywhere. Not a conservative amongst them mind.

    • Alexsandr

      wonder how many of them doorstepping got told to f*ck off or had dogs set on them?

      • HookesLaw

        None?

        • Lucy Sky Diamonds

          Quite a few?

    • Pepperless

      hey hey good one

    • HookesLaw

      Of course there were. Your pretence is sad.

      • Lucy Sky Diamonds

        Of course there were plenty of (C)onservatives. Hardly any (c)onservatives though.

        You dont know the meaning of small c conservatism. To claim otherwise considering your posts just shows signs of cognitive dissonance.

      • southerner

        Good to see you back from your “holiday” whilst the Euro election results came in. Any comment on how well your boy Dave did?

    • hereward

      Or one that puts Britain first !

  • Faceless Bureaucrat

    Nice to see ‘Mother’ Theresa up there doing her bit for that nice young Candidate. Telemachus will be delighted I’m sure…

    • dalai guevara

      hear hear – another one of my phrases that will ‘resonate’.

      • the viceroy’s gin

        “hear hear”

        That’s only two “hears”, lad. What about the rest of the sockpuppets? You’re quite a few hears short, aren’t you?

        • you_kid

          you sound wound up, or is it wined up?

          • the viceroy’s gin

            …what does your sockpuppet caucus think, lad?

  • Lucy Sky Diamonds
    • you_kid

      I like your repeat adverts – do you do that for nowt?

      • the viceroy’s gin

        …you mean, like how you repeatedly create new sockpuppets, lad?

        • you_kid

          you sound whiny, or is it winey?

          • the viceroy’s gin

            …maybe you should poll all your sockpuppets, lad.

            • you_kid

              … winery?

              • the viceroy’s gin

                …is that how your sockpuppets polled?

                • you_kid

                  whinetastic!

                • the viceroy’s gin

                  …your sockpuppets?

                • you_kid

                  go on, decant another whinge – you know you want to.

                • the viceroy’s gin

                  …are all your sockpuppets in assemblage today, lad?

      • Lucy Sky Diamonds

        Well he has a point does he not?

        • you_kid

          I like the one where the breitbart nutjobs declare Joey Barton a Ukip supporter, just prior to the QT screening. Hilarious tripe.

          The dangerous thing here is, the plebs don’t get that that website is a comedy website. The plebs *believe* the stuff breitbart come out with. The plebs frankly swallow anything, uneducated as they all are.
          Now, may I ask again – do you do this for nowt? It would be a good excuse if you didn’t.

          • Steve Lloyd

            Hi. Can you post a link to your website please. You know, the one that talks to the nation and gets circa a 100,000 hits a day. Thank you.

            • you_kid

              eat sh_t – billions of flies cannot be wrong.

              • the viceroy’s gin

                …is that what you and all your sockpuppets do all day, lad?

              • Steve Lloyd

                Charming. I was only making a polite request.

                • you_kid

                  … and my response was a metaphor, not to be taken literally.

                • the viceroy’s gin

                  …a herd of your sockpuppets defecating “metaphors” ?

  • telemachus

    That vicious woman May was there today
    Oh for a chance to give her a piece of my mind

    • UniteAgainstSocialism

      She’d knock you out with one punch

      • DavidL

        More characteristically, it would be a sharp blow on the cranium from a kitten heel. Ouch.

    • WatTylersGhost

      Which piece would that be?

      • glurk

        is there one spare?

        • Alexsandr

          has he got a mind to have a piece of?

          • glurk

            I think he does time- share if you’re keen?

    • HJ777

      I have actually met her in a non-political environment.

      I found her to be very pleasant and witty. Rather likeable, in fact.

      I gained the impression that there was nothing wrong with her mind and she certainly didn’t need an extra piece donated by an imbecile like you.

      • telemachus

        That is the problem HJ
        They beguile you when your guard is down
        She is pure Rottweiler

    • Makroon

      Don’t give her a piece of your mind, you have little enough to spare.

      • the viceroy’s gin

        …ahem.

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