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Sorry, Britain didn’t vote for the Austrian ‘Bearded Lady’

11 May 2014

3:31 PM

11 May 2014

3:31 PM

There has been plenty of progressive backslapping this morning because Britain was one of the many countries to award the full 12 points to the bearded Austrian drag act Conchita Wurst in Saturday night’s Eurovision Song Contest. We showed those bigots over in Eastern Europe and Russia a thing or two, the chatterati say.

Mr S hates to be a party-pooper, but he has news for you. The British public actually voted for some Polish girls in milkmaid outfits, seductively churning butter and cleaning clothes.


The Polish ladies were very self-confident, if a little old fashioned:

‘We’re Slavic girls
We know how to use our charming beauty
Now, shake what your mama gave ya!’

The blushes of our progressive elite were spared by the suspiciously complex voting system. There is a 50/50 split between unelected and unaccountable judges and the votes of the public; Poland topped the UK’s public voting tally, but were awarded zero points by the UK overall because the unelected judges ranked Poland 25th.

Can readers think of any other examples where an out of touch, unelected euro-elite have defied the will of the people?

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Show comments
  • Aldrnari

    I for one am incredibly happy Conchita got the win anyway, although I feat it has drawn a lot of Transphobes out of the woodwork it is still a step in the right direction to equality.
    Not that I hate the polish entry (Dontatan) I bought one of their CDs long before eurovision 2014 was even a thing (not an easy task when the entire process was in polish) I just didn’t like Donatan as only Cleo with the male rappers left out.

  • Ben Cat

    Why do all the entries to this contest sing in English, well, I think they all do. They should be forced to sing in their native language, surely!!!

  • UncleTits

    Just when you thought Malmo couldn’t be out-gayed. I voted for Malta and still feel ripped off by these shadowy “judge” characters. I want names, backgrounds, and justifications. Not to accuse the BBC of a telephone voting scam but surely this qualifies?

    • balance_and_reason

      what about sexual orientation and political affiliation too…

  • roger

    I like Slavs (see photo left) and thought they were great, as for Austria, i prefer Udo Jurgens.

  • evad666

    “Can readers think of any other examples where an out of touch, unelected euro-elite have defied the will of the people?”
    Why that never happens! What on earth are you suggesting?

  • evad666

    We have a song contest?

  • Axiom Seer

    yep no zionist degradation for the brits !

  • Reconstruct

    It’s such a brilliant representation of our involvement with ‘Europe’: we vote for pouting Polish cuties, we are ignored and told we prefer a bearded Austrian transvestite.

    And then we congratulate ourselves for being so progressive.

  • CzechMirco

    Had Mr. Steerpike really known anything about Eurovision and refrained from logical fallacies, he wouldn’t have written this heap of dribble.

    First of all, the sentence “Britain didn’t vote for the Austrian ‘Bearded Lady’” is a blatant lie – the bearded lady actually came up third in the british televoting. And you know whats even funnier, Mr. Steerpike? That three out of five jury members actually put the bearded lady on a lower place than the televote did (8, 9 and 4 respectively). And as for the televote results for polish entries: have you checked those over the last 15 years, Mr. Steerpike? Don’t you see any evidence of a little bit strange pro-polish bias? Is it too politically incorrect in your country to say, that the polish diaspora may skew the results a bit?

    And the “defying the will of people” is an utter nonsense: the jury was the FIRST to cast their votest so assuming the time is linear, its in fact the people who defied THEM (well, by the people I mean – see above). Also the jury watched the show day before the grand finale (the so called jury show), which is something like a dress rehearsal, and based its votes upon THAT. And there can be quite some difference between the jury final and grand final – for example (believe or not) the french entry improved significantly for the final (not that it helped them too much).

    • Slavic Girl

      Nice try, but it does not entirely add up. If the relationship between the size of the minority and the Eurovision ranking is so strong, why the results for Germany were not skewed “one bit”?
      Don’t get me wrong, I respect your personal preference for the Austrian Drag act over Polish, ever so slightly tacky buns.

      • CzechMirco

        I’m not entirely sure I follow. Do you mean that there is a substantial german minority in the UK, which should be able to skew the british voting, if what I’m saying is right?

        • Slavic Girl

          If you have problems with reading, use and click on little megaphone icon. HTH.

          • CzechMirco

            No I didn’t have any problems understanding your english, I had problem understanding your “point” about Germans.

    • James

      It’s “drivel”, not “dribble”.

    • Picquet

      Do you row down the left-hand side of the river?

    • balance_and_reason

      There is a pro Polish bias in this country because those people have always been allies and also have built all our shower units for last 10 years. Slight problem with a leaky tile but on the whole a good job.

  • Realpolitik/ fruitcake/ racist

    Does anyone watch this progressive bile? Besides Clegg’s claques…

  • ArchiePonsonby

    Singing bloke with a beard in a frock. What a singularly apt metaphor for the direction the entire Continent is taking!

  • Gwangi

    Well, I didn’t vote either. But I did place a bet: £10 at 20-1. That gives me 200 quid holiday spending money. Thanks Austrian bearded lady!
    A bearded transsexual singing a torch song? Come on, it was a dead cert to win Eurovision. How could a bearded lady not win?
    And the song was passable sub-Shirley Bassey too

  • Smithersjones2013

    Pity that the rest of Europe returned the compliment to that unelected elite by giving our entry only half the points of the Russian entry. There again I think the rest of the country has just as low an opinion of our elite as clearly the rest of Europe has……

  • Lee Being

    Well, I voted for the ‘bearded lady’ as you put it. Where’s your source to back-up your claim?

  • Retired Nurse

    ‘Can readers think of any other examples where an out of touch, unelected euro-elite have defied the will of the people?’


    • Shimona from the Palace

      The European Commission?

  • swatnan

    There is something exceedingly dodgy about her … I’m not quite sure yet what it is.
    I liked the Russian twins. So the voting was all about PC, and not the song. She should not have won.
    Unfortunately, Molly’s song was so ’70s, but it had a good chorus, and should have done better.

  • roger

    How dare you suggest we didn’t embrace the gay option, we must always do so, we must never appear ‘phobic, we must hate Putin and his ilk, we have always been at war with Eastasia !

  • anncalba

    Just clicked into the Speccie Home page. The amount of coverage given to Eurovision is mind boggling. I don’t actually know anyone who watched it or, gives tinkers cuss about it. Think the kid journalists at the Spectator have lost the plot.

  • matt

    The UK’s entire Eurovision set up is dominated by gay men, BBC gay men mostly, a bit like Radio 2 is. It is therefore no surprise that they choose other gay men as the judges and that they all would choose to support an entry that was specifically intended to be a gay rights message aimed at the east european homophobes.

    • fergalf

      Instead it was just a huge embarrassment to the gay movement.

  • GraveDave

    Can readers think of any other examples where an out of touch, unelected euro-elite have defied the will of the people?

    Yes, finalist at that year’s Miss England competition, said that if Ms Christie won …

    Linford Christie’s niece is first black Miss England – Telegraph › News › UK News

    She didn’t rightly win that either. As it later came out.

    21 Jul 2009 – Linford Christie’s niece, Rachel Christie, has been crowned the first black Miss England in the competition’s history.

  • David

    Sorry, Britain did vote for the Austraian bearded lady: she finished 3rd in the UK public voting. Completely unlike the Spectator to conveniently ignore/distort facts to suit its agenda.

    Also, as has been pointed out below, Poland did so well in the UK public voting because Polish immigrants make up the third largest national group in the UK, after Brits and Indians. The Eurovision voting system was changed precisely to limit the influence of public voting on the basis of nationality rather than the quality of performance. So in this case it’s done its job perfectly: in terms of the music itself, Conchita was miles ahead of the Poles.

    • Slavic Girl

      OK, I get it. You do not like Slavic girls!

      • David

        I’m married to one.

        The girls in Donatan and Cleo’s performance were not representative of Slavs in general or Poles in particular, who tend to be pretty modest in the way they dress. I also don’t see much butter churning when I’m out and about in Poland.

        • Slavic Girl

          On the contrary. Girls were dressed in traditional folk dresses. We are also very crafty. I am sorry that your Polish wive does not want to churn your butter, you must have married the wrong princess (are you not about your EX-wife, because it very much sounds like it?)

          • solly gratia

            wow, Fabian Solutions from the DT has a sister.

          • David

            Sorry, I can’t see where her t*ts are hanging out in that picture.

    • Airey Belvoir

      Conchita was not a ‘bearded lady’ but a bloke in a dress. Maybe you were confused by the BBC who referred to him as ‘she’ throughout.

      • David

        I was responding to this article’s headline.

    • GraveDave

      People vote for what the media and the twitteratti tell them.

  • almarsh

    All the evidence anyone might need is firmly before our eyes – Eurovision has degenerated into Eurotrash. Time to pull the plug on it.

    • Slavic Girl

      Really think so?

    • Tony Newton

      Slavic Girl supports Eurovision and the BBC, to know why click on her name, you will see she posts with a Twitter account from Broadcasting House London.

      • GraveDave

        Beats me why we went to war to help Poland. Just look at the race today. Nothing runty about any of them. They’re all big and robustly healthy looking fuc*ers. Certainly I’ve not seen any undersized Poles where I live. Whereas we lost the flower and best of our young manhood and never recovered to this day. Poland also seems to be getting the best deal economically from free movement migration and healthcare. Back in the old country they can also buy or build a house for less than a third of our costs. Wonder why that is – not.
        No I think what that country needs is a good healthy injection of diversity and third world multiculturalism.
        It’s only fair.

        • roger

          In 1939 Poland had an anti-semitic military dictatorship government yet we wanted to defend them from a German anti-semitic military dictatorship, the brave Poles who came to Britain, there descendants, and the current Polish residents are a lot better.

          • Slavic Girl

            You Sir, are ignoramus and an idiot. I have no time for you. None!

      • lojolondon

        Thanks for doing the research, Tony – I have to say I suspected as much – a paid Troll.
        Part of the clue is in it’s responses – Anti British, anti-UKIP and fiercely protective of the BBC.
        Note that when but GraveDave slags off Poland pretty harshly, it barely comes up with a response. This is why we want the BBC ‘TV Tax’ halted – we waste £6Billion of taxpayers money on the Biased BBC, and they spend it on professional Trolls.

  • Anna

    I know who should have been sent by Poland to be considered as “politically correct”. Search Google “Skrzynecka Bocelli” 🙂

    • Guest

      Is this the actress who used to be blond some 50 years ago?

  • obbo12

    Err according to the British public the Austrian act was the 3rd best the same as the jury.

  • colinintokyo

    I am not homphobic, but I think I must be beardyblokeinadressphobic though.

  • Jason Smith

    Eh touched a nerve. The judges and public both voted Austria third which was the highest combined score. Not soo out agree on Austrais position. So yes after voting for boobies and then for the only real song the Netherlands the public voted for the Transvestite. But whole point of the 50/50 split is you have a “expert jury” grading on actual song quality and not national alliances rather than gimmicks. Still pretty decent getting number 3.

  • zanzamander

    Why is he a “Bearded Lady” and not a “Bloke in a Skirt”?

    • albertcooper

      In the day always a bearded lady in fairground freak side shows.

      • freddiethegreat

        ‘Freak side show’ – what Eurovision has turned into.

    • tankslappa

      “Bloke in a skirt” could be confused with a Scotsman.

    • Aldrnari

      Because that would be offensive, arguably both terms are.

  • edballsup

    While the Euro-fascists congratulate themselves for being so progressive over the winning freak-show act, they boo anyone voting for two 17-year old girls who happened to be born in Russia. Shameful and pathetic.

    • Slavic Girl

      Boo, really? I must have missed it.

      • Ridcully

        You must have been watching the TV with the sound off.

    • CronFlakes

      The boos weren’t for the girls but because of Russia’s homophobic laws and surrounding issues etc….. The song was cheered, it was only the voting which was Boo’d

      • edballsup

        Whatever reason there may have been for the boos is completely irrelevant. All that happened is the two girls who sang their hearts out for their country were at the receiving end of some very childish and mean behaviour.

    • CzechMirco

      If you really watched the Grand final, you would notice, that in fact the russian song was cheered at the end, and only any mention of RUSSIA was booed. Thus the audience found a way to distinguish between the two singers (who were pretty decent albeit not great) and the ugly Mordor they represented

      • edballsup

        Well I admit to not paying that much attention to what was at best a third-rate singing competition. But the point remains – booing at such an event is just childish, mean and makes those doing it look very silly.

        • CzechMirco

          May I ask, how and according to what does one (well, namely you) rate the singing competitions?

          And I must say, how lucky it is, that we aren’t childish booers but adult territory stealers, unidentified military infiltrators, kidnappers and mudrerers and separatists, right?

          • Stevo Macg

            I didn’t think ‘murica was taking part…..

  • tror ikke på dommedag..

    The best song won. ESC is the songwriters contest remember? The bearded “lady” will not change that fact.

    • balance_and_reason

      LOL o LOL o LOL

  • Bonkim

    Waste of time.

  • dado_trunking

    Austria hadn’t won the contest since 1966.
    Does that remind the author of anything?

    • overmind

      Good idea. Perhaps the England football team should should turn out in drag and we’ll win the World Cup. It’s about the only strategy left!

      • Polinka

        Not only, next year you can go with bisexual in a dress in a wheelchair with only 2 months of life before him. Sure success

  • SeekTruthFromFacts

    The judges were brought back in an attempt to reduce political voting. It may have failed but that was the aim.

  • Michael Macdonald

    typical BBC snobbery: sack the judges and rely on the popular vote alone

    • Anna ‘Nan’ Jeznach

      Yes they should sack them, because The Public pays for the Eurovision (in the way of TV License) and the voting when they are texting/calling – The same happen in Ireland and Holland.

  • balance_and_reason

    I voted for Poland…….I thought they were very tuneful.

    • solly gratia

      They were singing? Didn’t notice.

      • Chris

        They weren’t because it was hip-hop. Have you ever heard “singing” hip-hop?

  • sallyroberts

    No. I voted for Conchita – several times.

    • balance_and_reason


    • The Zizzanax

      Of course the disgusting hom0 has to cheat by voting multiple times, it’s the only way disgusting hom0s like that ever make it through life

    • Dogzzz

      Genuine question, if you had only heard the songs on the radio and could not watch the acts, would you have still voted the same way based on sound and quality of the song alone?

      • sallyroberts

        yes. I liked the song.

  • BBC Farage

    Since when progressive? Poland decriminalised homosexuality in 1932, Britain only in 1967. Where is your sense of proportion?

    • Gareth Stone

      ‘Progressive’ is what leftists want to imagine we are on the basis of the vote… the author is being sarcastic

    • JimHHalpert

      Well, to be fair, we had our last pogrom in 1190 whereas yours was in 1946. Swings and roundabouts, I guess.

      • Slavic Girl

        HH – you are very dodgy, I am not going to talk to you.

      • lojolondon

        Touche –

        • Slavic Girl

          speak for yourself.

    • roger

      Decriminalised is not the same as shouting about it in some pride march.

  • FrankS2

    Could it be that Poles are the only UK inhabitants interested in Eurovision?

    • BBC Farage

      Rather not, considering twitter activity. The support for Farage’ anti Polish Party was decimated that night.

      • balance_and_reason

        can I have your phone number, if you look like your picture….in the interests of English / Slavic relations.

        • sadmaninagame

          Sexist pig.

          • MrVeryAngry

            Rather a triumph of hope over experience wouldn’t you say?

            • sadmaninagame

              He must be new to the internet.

          • balance_and_reason

            Is it now morally illegal to ask for a liaison?

            • sadmaninagame

              Pretty much, yes.

        • digi_matrix

          haha you fool

          • balance_and_reason

            I know, just mad love fool for high cheekbones and those minxy eyes.

        • Guest

          she’s a guy, d’oh!

          • solly gratia

            In a dress, with a beard?

        • Vote UKiP

          0800 587 6 587

          • balance_and_reason

            i’m very suspicious of that number; my mother told me never to call an 0800 number, they are for bad people.

      • Gary Smith

        Steady on darlink what percentage only tuned in to watch the farcical scoring system and the uber- kitsch presenting thereafter ?

      • solly gratia

        Give it a rest girl, your anti-Britishness is getting tiring. There are Poles joining UKIP, and at least one standing. you don’t have to be anti-polish to be concerned at 10,000+ turning up in your town, as they have in the town I live in.

        • bagart

          because of this 10 000 your house and street in your town are clean
          and ancient neglected plumbing repaired. Be thankful. Ah- also you improve genetically.

          • solly gratia

            You are ignorant, and incapable of coherent speech.
            My streets are not clean, I don’t employ a maid to clean my house (this is the UK, not the US), and my plumbing is fine already. and it is a bit of a stereotype to think all Poles are plumbers, don’t you think?

          • NedMissingTeeth

            Isn’t that a bit racist?

      • lojolondon

        Please pay attention – Farage is not anti-Polish.

    • monty61

      Apart from the more juvenile members’ of the Speccy staff that is. The space accorded this brain-dead nonsense in what purports to be a serious magazine is beyond belief.

      • FrankS2

        Eurovision is the template for the politics of the future.

    • The Zizzanax

      Could it be that men like women in dresses, and not other men?

      • lojolondon

        Could it be that men like women in dresses, and not men in dresses?

        • UncleTits

          Could it be that men in dresses like men in dresses and men out of dresses like women pouring out of their dresses?

          • lojolondon

            True, also men out of dresses like women pouring beer!

  • DonaldHBrown

    There is a 50/50 split between unelected and unaccountable judges and the votes of the public; Poland topped the UK’s public voting tally, but were awarded zero points by the UK overall because the unelected judges ranked Poland 25th.

  • balance_and_reason

    Bring on the wet woman football…….