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Ed Miliband’s speech in Scotland: Mr Pooter meets Alan Partridge

21 March 2014

4:01 PM

21 March 2014

4:01 PM

Ed Miliband has just given a quite extraordinary speech. I don’t know if it was deliberately banal or merely unfortunately dull. It was certainly stupefyingly boring. The Labour leader gave the impression that Scottish Labour’s spring conference was the very last place on earth he wished to be.

I suppose you can’t blame him for that.

Even so this perfunctory, cliche-stuffed flannel suggested Miliband’s heart wasn’t really in Perth today. It was a kind of “God, do I really have to go to Scotland?” kind of speech.

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I’m not sure Alan Partridge Meets Mr Pooter was quite the note Miliband hoped to strike. But when you start referring to Anas Sarwar as “dynamic” and Margaret Curran as “brilliant” you’re not really helping yourself. If that was (I assume) unintentionally amusing there was worse/more mirth to come.

It’s an iron law of political speeches that the speaker needs to find some connection tying him to the place in which he is speaking. For Miliband, this required him to search his life for, god help us, a Scottish anecdote. This is what he came up with:

Almost every family in Britain has a special story about their connection with Scotland.

This is mine.

My Dad came to Britain as a refugee from Belgium, fleeing from the Nazis.

He wanted to fight Fascism so he joined the Royal Navy.

Seventy years ago, he was stationed just 30 miles from here in Inverkeithing.

Where I was yesterday.

And that’s it! That’s his special story about his connection with Scotland. Not an ordinary or commonplace one but a special one. Dad went to Fife. And so did Miliband Junior. Yesterday.

Jings! And crivvens. And help ma Boab too. Wincingly banal and yet, somehow, painfully amusing too. The poor fish is almost proud of it.

So readers are invited to share their own special stories about Scotland – or indeed anywhere else in this realm. Let Ed be your inspiration.

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Show comments
  • david721

    I’ve visited Scotland on four occasions, Edinburgh twice, Isle of Mull and Kelso. The people were great, genuinely friendly. They are patient and long suffering, they do not deserve to be ruled by Daily Mail reading England and it’s despicable self centred attitudes. I would deport incomers from England if I were Scottish but they will not take such justified action. They are too nice.

  • Brandon Minich

    My friends, I bought my favorite hat from a second hand shop in Edinburgh a few years ago now. Sure, I live in America. But I have my Scottish hat! Also, I enjoyed the haggis, and am outraged over the US ban over that most excellent of foods.

  • Rockin Ron

    Today (24 March) is the anniversary of the Acts of Union that in 1707 ratified the historic union between England and Scotland. Over 300 years after that, we can still show we are better together. Mr Salmond and his supporters want to undo this history, to wipe it out and start again with a pitiful, fragile nation state with republican ambitions, defined by animosity to England and bluff disregard for its loyal citizens. You do not build a nation on vague feather light aspirations, Mr Salmond. The union of Scotland and England will hold against your tawdry attempts to grab power and denude a proud nation. We really are better together. Don’t let bitterness win the day. Tell Salmond to sling his hook.

  • Anthony

    I once considered banking with RBS.

  • startledcod

    OMG, my young and beautiful mother was in Inverkeithing 70 years ago, please tell me that she wasn’t, didn’t, couldn’t have. Eeeeew, surely she only had eyes for my handsome future father, the Cod of Inverkeithing.

  • balance_and_reason

    The big wagging finger

    • shebamurphy

      I know! Wouldn’t you think Ed’s aides would try to wean him off that habit which is, when you think of it, kind of symptomatic of the Left? They are always telling us off for one thing or another.

  • balance_and_reason

    Is it just me or is labour looking and feeling more like 1984 by the day.

  • Tony_E

    Why are the Westminster parties so desperate to hang on to Scotland?

    Labour, because it returns socialist MPs in the main. Even the Scots Lib Dems are largely an Anti Tory force in the normal scheme of things.

    Lib Dems because they actually have some seats there, and after 2015 they might rely on them and their South Western seats for any representation in Westminster.

    But the Conservatives? They have nothing to gain to Union any more, the pendulum will never swing back in Scotland – Empire was the only thing that really bound the Scots to England, once it was gone the pulling apart was inevitable.

    So there must be another reason overlying all the narrow political concerns. And I can only think of one reason: Defence.

    There must be a fear that a foreign force might be invited into Scotland at some point in the future, maybe even a long way along the road, to use it as a land base to subjugate the English.

    Once the EU is gone – and I suspect that eventually it will collapse under it’s own contradictions – then there must be a real chance that Western Europe may collapse into either anarchy or authoritarianism. That might lead to international conflict. And while that’s not an imminent prospect, at the top level I’m sure that people are paid to explore very long term scenarios.

    • Wessex Man

      Yep I must confess it worries me so that I toss and turn instead of sleep at night for at least 0.0000001% of my sleeping time.

  • dougthedug

    The one thing Ed didn’t do in his speech was to share his thoughts on the devolution proposal that the Scottish region of Labour produced earlier in the week.

    Two years in the making, it was trailed as being so wonderful that it would be a reason to turn from independence and to vote no.

    I think Ed managed one throwaway reference to it in his “One Nation”, memories of the Second World War speech.

    Not that anyone is really surprised. It wasn’t an official Labour policy document, it was a dog’s breakfast of tinkering at the edges and Labour have had enough of devolution anyway.

    Despite that, there were many deluded in Scotland including those like Kenny Farquharson, the deputy editor of the Scotsman, who thought that Labour were going to come up with some fantastic (or is that fantasy) independence killer proposal which would hand over pretty much everything to the Scottish Parliament.

    Unsurprisingly they were left crying into their beer.

  • asalord

    First Cameron, then Osborne, now Miliband, all three displaying the usual British nationalist desperation. The more they say they love the union with Scotland the more the people of Scotland see through the condescending guff.
    It’s delicious to see Westminster’s politicians’ self-destruction.
    However, no doubt they’ll tell their grandchildren how much they loved Scotland whilst campaigning to save the union.
    “I went to Perth, you know. That makes me 90% Scotch! And you’re 80%! And we’re still all one big happy family!”
    “Tell me again, Grandpapa: What part did you play in saving our empire?”

    • realfish

      Miliband? British? There’ nothing at all British about that International Socialist who is just passing through, en route to the States, a wrecker creating as much havoc as he can as he goes along on his merry way.

      • Nicholas chuzzlewit

        Nail hit very firmly on the head!

  • sunnydayrider

    The coldest winter I ever spent was the summer I spent in Aberdeen. The town was grey, the people were grey and the pubs sold flat beer. I learnt one thing though, how to disguise my English accent, or preferably just keep my mouth shut, when in a bar full of rat-arsed jocks. Just a matter of self-preservation

    • CameronB

      You’re must be trawling around some dodgy spots, but add too much alcohol to most folk and what do you get?

      • Wessex Man

        You?

  • Hackerwill

    Many dismiss Scotland as the utterly miserable, whinging, delusional bell-end of the British Isles, peopled by perpetually pissed, workless or public sector troglodytes with a mortality rate of about 36. But not me. Many is the time that I have strolled the fairways of Turnberry accompanied by delightfully quirky and grasping wizened “old” men dragging by Taylormades around with barely an intelligible word and a type of wisdom that we don’t bother with in the real world. No one could ever believe that such a nation of intellectual capital and wanton disregard for productivity could be anything other than an asset to this great Union. Let’s hope they vote to remain, or not. Whatever.

    • Nicholas chuzzlewit

      Some good ancillary points but as to the main thrust of your argument I disagree, Callaway clubs are preferable to Taylormade.

    • orkers

      You would have been buried in a bunker long since.

    • allymax bruce

      “Many dismiss Scotland as the utterly miserable, whinging, delusional
      bell-end of the British Isles, peopled by perpetually pissed, workless
      or public sector troglodytes with a mortality rate of about 36.”

      And many dismiss Westminster as the utterly lying, cheating, insincere orifice to which the bankers regularly have free-go’s;; and continue to use the peoples of all four Home Nations as commodities for tax & war. So what’s your point? If what you say is true, then why wouldn’t Scots & Scotland want to change such a prostituted relationship?

      Vote Yes to drag ourselves out of this demeaning abuse.

      • Kitty MLB

        He is wrong when he says’ Many dismiss Scotland as utterly miserable,
        delusional bell- end of the British Isles’
        Many love Scotland, her beauty, her brilliant educational establishments ( Edinburgh being a university known for its excellence)
        Excellent food ( apart from Haggis- and I have no idea what that even is, I did ask Fergus, yet it remains a secret)
        There are some delightful people and some twats like everywhere else.
        Cameron will continue to offer this and that< Scotland will think him a
        weak fool, but at the end of the day, lovely Ally they will vote NO-
        Besides we would miss you 😉

        • Wessex Man

          no we won’t!

          • Kitty MLB

            Scotland is that somewhat grouchy
            teenage relative who always complains
            about feeling neglected, not having
            enough money spent on them and always
            threatening to leave home.
            Would not miss all those Labour MP’s
            though ( assuming they have to go)
            At least Scottish men are brave enough
            to eat haggis and have the knees for
            a kilt unlike the knobbly English 🙂

            • Wessex Man

              I’ll have you know I have woderous knees, I played Sunday League Football till I hit forty.

        • allymax bruce

          Kitty, my dear, I’m not going anywhere after the Yes referendum; I’m here to stay now. I’ve done my travelling, and I’m settling down now. I even get regular visits from the Edinburgh University students, who come along to my house and point up at my windows; seems the University of Edinburgh have been telling their students to come along to my house and point at it! Strange people these that ‘excel’ at Edinburgh Uni !
          I mean, if I was vindictive, I could trawl all the forum boards across the world sending out a warning ‘DON’T send your child to Edinburgh University; they tell their students, our children, to go around Edinburgh pointing at residents houses’; but I don’t ‘excel’ in strange behaviour; unlike Edinburgh University ! As you can see, Kitty, Edinburgh University has been pissing me off; I don’t care for it one bit. It seems to think the whole of Edinburgh should revolve around it; that needs to change. People that live in Edinburgh, have more right to it than an decrepit ‘institution’. Even the facade of the building is covered in Freemason relief; it’s an ugly eyesore.

          • Wessex Man

            oh dear.

  • TJB

    I watched Trainspotting, brilliant documentary! Furthemore I also once saw a picture of the sign at the border on the A1. Can i get my Scottish passport now?

    • Wessex Man

      did they talk like these two or were they grown up?

  • Stephen

    English people tend to support the union on sentimental grounds. It’s no loss to us if the Scots push off but all things considered we would rather they didn’t. In my case it’s a Scottish great-grandfather and a holiday near Aberdeen, a decade ago. I can see why Scots would regard this as trivial compared to the reasons Scots support the Union but as English people go; Jewish Dad’s War Service Against The Third Reich Based In Scotland is a big deal, at least for the son of Jewish dad. We can’t all have ancestors slain at Flodden Field or marching across the mud at Ypres in the company of a Scotch piper. And you can hardly expect Mr Miliband to come to Scotland and slag off the Scottish Labour Party. So I’m not really inclined to bank this under ‘Crisis For Doomed Ed’ which is, in any case, a somewhat overrated genre of political commentary.

    • asalord

      It’s just that he, and other non-Scots unionists, think Scots should be grateful for their tenuous links to Scotland. It is patronizing in the extreme, yet still they do it. But as you say, when we push off it won’t be in our memory for long.

    • Wessex Man

      You are as bad as the bloke below.

  • disqus_EjgKZ1VUFS

    Now what day is it today ? I’m losing count of the number of upper class twits that are coming to Scotland to tell us what to do.Now this guy Dave or Ed or whatever his name is at least has a very strong Scottish connection so we might listen to him ,you see I’ve never been to Inverkeithing and I’m Scottish.
    That speech today was toe curling and I have never voted labour in my life. I thought all the hopeless pills had been taken by the Labour leader in Holyrood but no this guy comes up here and is even funnier.
    Right who is coming to patronise us next week,Eddie Izzard ,well at least he might be genuinely trying to get a laugh.
    Honestly this is getting tiresome,roll on Sept,I’m more convinced than ever that YES is going to win and we never have to see most of this mob again.

    • Nicholas chuzzlewit

      Trust me, the feeling is mutual. The prospect of never having to listen to the dreadful Salmond again is truly enticing and Labour losing 41 Westminster MPs a wonderful bonus. Osborne precluding a currency union with the ex-UK is the Cherry on the cake. Roll on September!

      • CameronB

        I’m assuming you are not located in Scotland, so I have to wonder just when these interminable broacasts have been? Despite being Scotland’s FM, he is not on the TV up here, very often.

        • Wessex Man

          well that’s because he’s on the telly all the time down here, bleating that he’s been advised Scotland’s best interest is to remain in the ‘Sterling Zone’ and rUK’s too, even though before that he thought that Sterling was a millstone around Scotland’s neck, ah how times change, go Scotland, go Scotland in the name of heaven GO!

          • Nicholas chuzzlewit

            Careful you’ll hurt his feelings. You know they are allowed to insult us up hill and down dale but when we fight back they burst into tears of righteous indignation and tartan sanctimony. The cybernat nutters don’t just want independence, they want it to hurt the rest of the UK as well.

            • disqus_EjgKZ1VUFS

              Why on earth would anyone who wants independence want to hurt the rest of the UK. I just want to see decisions about Scotland being made in Scotland.
              I can understand English anger about Scottish MPs voting on English matters (only the SNP don’t do this) England is also getting a raw deal from the union, its a bizarre situation at the moment.
              I wish England no ill will and have had a laugh at some of the humour in the posts on this topic.
              You refer to us as “nutters” just take a second to reflect on your own actions.

              • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                Read these threads and observe the vitriol and hatred expressed by most of the cybernats towards my country. When any of us ‘fight back’ we get drowned by an ocean of self-righteous, hypocritical sanctimony.

                • Jambo25

                  The bulk of the hatred on here comes from darlings like yourself.

                • Wessex Man

                  I feel no hatred to anyone, love is all around and hope the the Scottish wish for independence becomes a reality as you well know.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  There speaks the foul, disgusting hypocrite who endorses the view that England is a fascist empire.

                • Jambo25

                  Medication’s worn off again, I see.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Still utterly disgusting and lacking in integrity I see.

                • Jambo25

                  Still not re-medicated yet; I see.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Still a disgusting hypocrite, I see.

            • allymax bruce

              “ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel” (Mark 23:24.)
              read verse 38 if you want to know how it all finishes.

          • CameronB

            Got any sources?

            • Wessex Man

              Yes

              The Herald Scotland:- Alex Salmond delivered a whole hearted defence of the Euro yesterday and predicted that Scotland would successfully flourish if the country cut it’s yies with stering and embraced the European single currency.

              In his very long very boring speech, as reoprted by Rory Watson European Correspondent, Salmond described the pound as a millstone round Scotland’s neck.

              He also goes on to say later in his speech ‘I think that being outside the euro area is already penalising the Scottish economy.’ Along with an awlful lot of insightful dialogue which nows damns him now.

              go goggle it!

              • Jambo25

                That’s the Herald from Scotland.

                • Wessex Man

                  oh don’t be so pendantic and get knocking on those doors!

      • disqus_EjgKZ1VUFS

        Great its a win win situation for all of us then.

        • Nicholas chuzzlewit

          Yes provided that Salmond continues to be told emphatically that there will be no currency union. The exUK is welcome to keep Sterling but not as part of a currency union. The UK will not be underwriting any new debt they might incur.

          • orkers

            I hope you don’t have a mortgage, have a good supply of Tilley lamps, solid fuel, when the lights flicker in mid winter and so on.
            Scotland have been underwriting your debt for 40 years.

            • Nicholas chuzzlewit

              I have never required a mortgage to buy property old boy. Why do you think Salmond wants a currency union? Here is a clue, it is not to assist the UK in its hour of need. It is because he knows, because sensible people have told him, that newly issued Scottish public debt would trade at a huge premium (current estimate 175 bps) without the support of the UK Treasury. That is why the Treasury recently confirmed that existing debt, including the exUK’s share, would remain supported post independence. The exUK has no track record as an issuer of public debt and so you can wave positive forecasts from S & P etc until you are blue in the face but your borrowing costs are going to rise. As I said, that is not and never has been an issue for me.

  • Derek

    Friends, I am the son of a Marxist immigrant, as I wandered around Dundee earlier I was reminded of how potent the forces of Marxism can be. I wandered through workers communes, and soft what light yonder window broke? The ephemeral glow of workers countenances turned to their task in hand. These doughty working folk, industriously ladelling molten, yes fiercely hot bricks, from bubbling cauldrons. Working for the common good, yes friends, the fine folk of Dundee, serving their fellow workers battered Mars bars, what could be a finer reflection of our one nation Marxist utopia?

    • asalord

      Sounds good to me. Vote Yes.

  • HJ777

    Has anyone ever heard a speech by Ed Miliband that wasn’t banal?

    I have never heard him say anything interesting.

    • asalord

      The only one who’s more banal and more nonsensical than Miliband is Douglas Alexander. Both products of New Labour.

      • Wessex Man

        don’t be so modest.

  • Doggie Roussel

    It’s no wonder that they are not giving the English a vote in this imminent referendum !

    • asalord

      Bitter together indeed, Doggie.

      • Doggie Roussel

        Irn Bru in your case…

    • CameronB

      Do you think England should be allowed a vote and why?

      • Doggie Roussel

        In any Democracy the whole electorate should be allowed to vote… and the whole electorate should be able to vote yes or no on the same question:

        Do you wish Scotland to remain within the Union?

        • CameronB

          Sorry, but September won’t come soon enough. I do not appreciate being over-lorded by an imperialist master.

          I don’t think you really understand the indyref., which has come about due to the democratic deficit Scotland ‘enjoys’ as a result of Britain’s skewed demographics (i.e. their are 10 times as many English as Scots). The same ratio was 5 to 1 at the time the Acts of Union were signed.

          Please correct me if I am wrong.

          • Wessex Man

            Do learn a bit of history, if there had been no Act of Union and Bank of England rescue, you Scots would have gone bankrupt after a certain little attempt at Empire building in the then new world!

            That chip on your shoulder is as wide as the Clyde!

            • CameronB

              I think you need to brush up on a few facts. The failed adventure you refer to is generally considered the most significant military campaign in English buccaneering history. Check out the South Sea Company or perhaps read some Johnathan Swift.

              The Clyde? Wrong side mate. 🙂

              • Wessex Man

                oh dear oh dear the mighty Scottish fleet of 13 was so badly ravished only two came home and New Edinburugh lay deserted- don’t twist history, Mel Gibson style!

                • Wessex Man

                  and in case you hadn’t noticed I’m not your mate, never have been never could have been, would never have wanted to be.

                • CameronB

                  I think your bigotry and racism has finally shone through, if it hadn’t all ready.

                  It didn’t even take a lot of rope feeding. 🙂

                  Pillock.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  The final refuge of the serial dissembler who has comprehensively lost the argument, an accusation of racism and bigotry. An accusation of that nature by a Cybernat! You could not make it up.

                • CameronB

                  Given that Wessex Man and I know nothing of each other, I can only conclude that his apparent hostility towards myself is due to a bigoted attitude. Assuming that Wessex Man is English, and I am perhaps being lazy in my assumption, his bigotry towards me is probably defined by my being other than English, which I believe would be considered racist.

                  Got any other explanations?

                  BTW, re. ‘serial dissemblers and lost arguments’, I think readers btl will easily spot that I have consistently attempted to enter courteous debate, where as yourself and Wessex Man have conducted yourselves, shall we say, less honorably.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Calling somebody a racist, bigot and pillock is not courteous it is the mark of a loser. You are done.

                • CameronB

                  I took a lot of provocation to drive me to the ‘obscenity’ of pillock, but then the pair of you are working as a tag-team. Aren’t you?

                  Got any answers to my questions, or perhaps a positive case for the union? Thought not.

                • Wessex Man

                  You ‘took a lot of provocation’ of course you didn’t, honestly you are like a child, you quote facts that arn’t, you accuse people of making things up and then when you are shown to be rather hopeless you resort to type.

                  I suggest that before you rant again you make sure you’ve grasped the facts rather than the fiction of the SNP propaganda machine.

                • CameronB

                  I would never consider voting for the SNP, so you are way of the mark on that one. Also, I didn’t know the F.S.A. was part of the S.N.P.’s dastardly propaganda machine. Ah, well, you learn something new every day.

                  Didn’t someone once comment on repeating a lie often enough?

                • Wessex Man

                  Well you certainly speacialise at that.

                • Jambo25

                  I wouldn’t bother. That pair are simply unpleasant English xenophobes. There are a lot of them about in the Speccie.

                • Wessex Man

                  oh my word, pot kettle and black, I suggest that the pair of you use a tiny bit of that energy that fuels your prodigious output here to getting out knocking on doorsteps and driving home your message. You are wasting your time here, most of the English here fully support the cause of separation!

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Hilarious, a Cybernat accusing others of working as a “tag team”. They obviously didn’t teach you irony at school. When I pointed out why Salmond is desperate for a currency union it all went very quiet as it always does with Cybernats like yourself. One idiot tried to suggest that without a currency union, the UK would not reach its target of a budget surplus by 2020. Even if that absurd suggestion were true, the idea that it is Salmond’s motivation to help a country he hates with every fibre of his being is just too absurd.

                • CameronB

                  Osborne’s case against currency union ripped apart by top economist

                  Headline from today’s Sunday Herald. Who knew they were part of the SNP’s dastardly propaganda machine.

                  Sorry for the delay but I have other things to attend to. 🙂

                • Michele Keighley

                  Why on earth should they have a positive case for the union? They appear desperate for you to leave and, I suspect, fear that you won’t!

                  What’s the problem? You want to leave …. they want you to leave, seems to me a perfect understanding. Or is it that you want to leave but want them not to want you to leave?

                  Back on topic – I was posted to RAF Leuchars some time ago at the age of 17, I was one confused ACW2 – I couldn’t understand why I was abused simply because of my accent. Lovely place.

                  What was that about ‘racists’ and ‘bigots’? Because I know first hand who the ranting hypocrites are.

                • CameronB

                  The two that you appear to be defending seem to be doing everything in their powers to undermine a positive case for independence. In order to do this , they are dissembling to a high degree and expressing strongly anti-Scottish sentiments. So do they want us to go, are they helping the unionist cause, or are they just being deliberately unpleasant?

                  Re. your misfortune in Fife. 300 years of imperial subordination can do that to a bloke. 😉

                • Wessex Man

                  oh dear oh dear, I rattled your smug inverted racist smileyland, Typical Cybernat nutjob, you lost the argument to me on all points, so you resort to calling me a bigot and a racist.

                  Before you join in grown up conversation get hold of the correct facts that are fluttering around in your head.

            • Jambo25

              I think you should do the History. The result of that little rescue which was, in actuality, a bribe paid to aristocrats and a few large merchants to sign away their country’s independence against the wishes of the general population. The result for most of the Scottish population was a doubling of the tax burden and England had recouped the initial bribes within a few years.

              • Wessex Man

                Now you are doing the same thing, the town corporations and most lowland Scots actually welcomed the rescue and you know it.

                • CameronB

                  What has all that got to do with the price of bread today? I would suggest very little.

                  IMO, Scottish independence will enable better accountability and performance of Scottish governance. It will give Scotland the tools to face the 21st, 22nd, 23rd, etc. centuries, where as Whitehall can not see beyond the HS2 property bubble.

                  What possible argument can you put forward to support your apparent opposition to improving democratic representation in Scotland?

                  P.S. with regards ‘knocking on doors’. Don’t tell me this is the next forced-work program for the disabled?

                • Wessex Man

                  Well actually, it was you who brought the subject up and as I know a considerable amount about the history of Britain I answered your somewhat ridiculous, biased ramblings on the subject.

                • CameronB

                  Is history not written by the victor? Try asking the victim of a murder their opinion on the matter.

                • Jambo25

                  No they didn’t . Daniel Defoe, who was the English government’s chief spy, in Scotland, reckoned that 90 odd % of the population were against the Union. The general feeling, in England, was that majority opinion was against it there as well.

                • Wessex Man

                  Funny that, a woman wrote into the letters page of Scotland on Sunday last week in much the same vein as you, today two letter writers took her to task both of which seem to know considerably more about the subject than her or you!

                • Jambo25

                  I stand by my posting.

          • Nicholas chuzzlewit

            Agreed, many of us in England are on our hands and knees hoping that the exUK votes yes and trust that it is full independence with no currency union as promised by Osborne et al. The UK does not want to be guaranteeing newly issued public debt and acting as lender of last resort to the banks of a foreign country which, judging by the tone of these threads, wishes the UK nothing but ill. Good riddance you will not be missed.

            • CameronB

              Scotland has shed loads of natural assets, many world class brands and a broad-based export sector. What does rUK have apart from money laundering in the City of London?

              • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                Quod erat demonstrandum. You also have banks which are 15 times the size of the economy – good luck with that. The UK will just have to find away to rub along without youand will do so, thankfully, without the burden of a currency union.

                • CameronB

                  You are remembering that the repeatability for bad debt is fixed by where the bad business was conducted?

                  Do you think Scotland would make half as bad a job regulating?

                  The failure of RBS can be explained by a combination of six key factors:
                  •significant weaknesses in RBS’s capital position during the Review Period, as a result of management decisions and permitted by an inadequate regulatory capital framework;
                  •over-reliance on risky short-term wholesale funding;
                  •concerns and uncertainties about RBS’s underlying asset quality,which in
                  turn was subject to little fundamental analysis by the FSA;
                  •substantial losses in credit trading activities, which eroded market confidence. Both RBS’
                  s strategy and the FSA’s supervisory approach
                  underestimated how bad losses associated with structured credit might be;
                  •the ABN AMRO acquisition, on which RBS proceeded without appropriate heed to the risks involved and with inadequate due diligence; and
                  •an overall systemic crisis in which the banks in worse relative positions
                  were extremely vulnerable to failure. RBS was one such bank.

                  http://www.fsa.gov.uk/pubs/other/rbs.pdf

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  And yet it remains registered under Scottish law and headquartered in The exUK. It is, as the Governor of the Bank of England pointed out, an exUK Bank. No surprise that you are trying to wriggle out of your debt obligations just as Salmond is threatening to renege on the exUK’s share of the national debt if he cannot join a currency union with the UK. A ludicrous threat that can only harm the exUK because the UK is underwriting all existing debt anyway and we are stuck with it whether we like it or not. The exUK will start life as a debt defaulter just as it was when it joined the Union.

                • CameronB

                  Osborne’s case against currency union ripped apart by top economist

                  Headline from today’s Sunday Herald. Who knew they were part of the SNP’s dastardly propaganda machine. 🙂

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Yes it was a top economist who said that cutting public expenditure would lead to a double or triple dip recession and 5 million unemployed. Forgive me if I ignore such rubbish in favour of an appreciation of the true impact on the UK. We will not be joining a currency union with the exUK, it has been very sensibly precluded by all parties in the UK and the governor of the Bank of England. This idiot probably thinks the currency union in Europe has been a raging success as well. We are already underwriting the whole of the national debt regardless of whether the exUK departs or not. There is no need to add to that total for the benefit of a hostile foreign country. Why does Salmond want one? It is the question you are too scared and incapable of summoning up the objectivity to answer. Why does Salmond want a currency union? See if you can answer that question without resorting to the dissembling rubbish that it would be good for the UK because his only interest is in the welfare of the exUK. I suspect I will have a very long wait.

                • Wessex Man

                  I already pointed out to our friend CameronB that Dear Alex really wanted nothing to do with Sterling and considered it a millstone around Scotlands neck, yet here he is back here waffling on again. The Cybernats have no real answers and just fall back on insults. Perhaps he sufferes from memory lapse.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Agreed. Ask the question why does Salmond want a currency union with the UK (without recourse to patronising rubbish as to why it will be good for the UK ) and they disappear in a puff of smoke. One idiot argued that without the exUK, the UK would end up as a moribund, flatlining economy etc etc and S & P have reported that the exUK will be a stellar economy etc etc. So why do you want a currency union with a country like that? He has never been heard from since.

                • CameronB

                  ‘Cough’. Would you be kind enough to provide evidence of the governor of the Bank of England ‘precluding’ a currency union?

                  I’ll not hold my breath.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  He cannot do that because he is the Governor of the BOE and a public servant.he did however give a raft of reasons why it is a bad idea so that only a fool would think he was in favour. I did enjoy watching that vain fool Salmond trying to keep his temper though. Still no answer to why Salmond wants a currency union with the UK. Surprise, surprise just wriggling about disingenuously as expected. Why does Salmond want a currency union with the UK? Go on see if you can summon up some objectivity and answer the question. Remember, it is why Salmond wants a currency union and nothing to do with any benefit for the UK that is for the UK to decide.

                • CameronB

                  Unless you have a link to a statement from the governor, then your previous comment is clearly mince.

                  We will not be joining a currency union with the exUK, it has been very sensibly precluded by all parties in the UK and the governor of the Bank of England.

                  It is a lovely day up here, so I don’t think I’ll waste any more time with you unless you are able to substantiate your somewhat partisan comment.

                  P.S. I don’t think the S.N.P precluded currency union. Is Scotland already independent and so no longer part of the UK?

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Great. You simply cannot answer the question can you? Why does Salmond want a currency union with the UK? Surely there is one cybernat out there who can answer this question.

                • CameronB

                  I am only able to speak for myself, but I would have though currency union might have helped minimise disruption during the transition period. Personally, I’m in favour of public banking and setting up our own currency, when the time is right.

                  I hadn’t responded to your question as I was hoping you might correct your error first, re. the BoE position on currency union.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  So you think it is required to minimise disruption. For who? We will just keep on using Sterling as if nothing had happened so no disruption for the UK. When will you get it into your thick cybernat heads that you can vote for independence but you do not get to dictate anything to the UK.

                • CameronB

                  Imperialist troll.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Name calling nothing less than one would expect. The UK represents comprises 91.7% of the population while the exUK comprises 8.3%. Do you honestly believe that the exUK will dictate terms to the rest of us? The Bank of England is the central Bank of the UK and will continue to be so. We are not voting on anything and the fact that you are does not mean our lives should be disrupted or disadvantaged in any way because that is not in your gift. B

                • Wessex Man

                  well said Sir!

                  It strikes me this CameronB is nothing but a racist and a bully!

                • Wessex Man

                  There is no postion, currencry union is a no no, a dead duck, a pipedream, the ex- UK will have to invent it’s own currency.

    • Nicholas chuzzlewit

      Pity because it would make independence for the exUK an absolute certainty.

  • asalord

    Fan as wis a wee loon fae Dunecht Ah went on a skule ootin tae York. Fowk doon there dinna hauf spyke queer. Rare ramplosity oot o sair misgugglin.

    • MichtyMe

      Dunecht loon?… I ken fae ye are… Robbie Shepherd

      • Wessex Man

        Och na hi.

  • MaggieL

    On holiday in Aberdeen aged 10ish, the weather turned unseasonably warm so my Mum bought me some turquoise and white stripey shorts from C&A. I was able to take advantage of the opportunity to sit on the beach and admire the gasometer.

    • asalord

      Guid fir you, quine. Far’d ye come fae?

      • MichtyMe

        If she can min the gasometer she is nae a quine, an aul wifie nae doots.

  • smilingvulture

    A bit disappointed so far,,no ones mentioned being a direct descendant from William Wallace,s loins

    • Doggie Roussel

      Certainly not you… you cannot even express a single sentence coherently…

      • Wessex Man

        oh don’t start Doggie not you as well!

  • asalord

    Miliband’s even more condescending than Cameron.
    So sincere, so oblivious to the laughter from the majority of people in Scotland.
    Labour is following the way of the tories in Scotland; and they’ve only got themselves to blame.
    More please.

    • CameronB

      Do you think Labour are doing it deliberately?

      I’ll get ma coat.

      • asalord

        Well, it wouldn’t surprise me if Cameron and Osborne were deliberately working towards independence for Scotland.
        Miliband is just too sincerely misguided to do that.

        • Wessex Man

          now you are even more confused than other.

      • allymax bruce

        He-he, yeh, that was a classic from Labour.

  • Lady Magdalene

    I’ve been on holiday to Scotland. Twice. That was before so many of them seemed to hate the English. Not sure I’d go again.

    • asalord

      We’re heart-broken.

      • Wessex Man

        we’re heartbroken thatyou are going, you are are going arn’t you? please.

  • asalord

    Michty! Alex Massie tae be the new scriver fir Oor Wullie an the Broons!

    Nawsal Ed as Wullie, Johann Lamont as Daphne Broon. Baith get intae a sarrie state efter the Bairn gets richt confoonert ower-hearin Granpaw Broon an his cronies at Perth bowlin green. Mair devolushun?! Wha’d tak on sic a daft confloption?!
    Nae the fowk o Scotlan, thon’s fir sheer!

    • MichtyMe

      Aye, feel gypes, spik haivers baith o’ em, eneuch tae gaur yer lugs bleed

  • Gilchrist

    It’s also utter shyte.

  • HookesLaw

    If the Union is relying on Ed Miliband then to be honest we’re in trouble.

    • CameronB

      Would you care to define “we”, please?

      • HookesLaw

        Easy, we who support the Union.
        I for one have no problem with being British but I am not one of them.

        • CameronB

          Not trying to be difficult but could you define “them”, please? Sorry.

          Also, do you have a vote and if so, how do you think Scotland’s independence will impact on you negatively?

          • Nicholas chuzzlewit

            As long as the UK is not part of a currency union with the ex UK the impact will be positive.

            • CameronB

              If you are referring to Scotland as the ex UK, can you please grow up as you are not contributing to a better understanding of the issue. I refer to England, Wales and N. Ireland as rUK, as it is the rest of the UK without Scotland. I meant no disrespect but I don’t think the same can be said for yourself.

              • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                You exUK people really should get over yourselves.

                • Wessex Man

                  and stop referring to the UK as rUK and just… well go.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Agreed but probably better to tell him that. I hate the term rUK with a passion because it implies that the exUK gets to rename our country simply because they have (thankfully) departed.

                • orkers

                  Anything to irritate you. Just ask.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Dont worry, we will soon be rid of you.

                • CameronB

                  Hark, an echo. Quack quack.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  Better an echo than an idiot.

                • Wessex Man

                  you should know you naughty boy.

                • CameronB

                  Quack quack.

                • Wessex Man

                  you sure tha’ts not twawk twawk

                • CameronB

                  Scotland is older than England.

                  We could probably do this all day but where does it get us?

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  You missed out the ‘c’. I am not sure that the observation that the exUK is colder than England adds anything to the debate save for the fact that it highlights another advantage of living in England.

        • allymax bruce

          “I for one have no problem with being British but I am not one of them.”

          Eh ?

  • Bugger (the Panda)

    I had a Bull Terrier, who was called Tam the Bam. He was born in Chesterfield. He died some years ago. That is my English connection.

    • CameronB

      One of my grannies was English, but then, that doesn’t matter that much. It will matter even less in a hundred years or more. I think the accountability and effectiveness of Scotland’s governance will though. That’s why I am voting Yes.

  • realfish

    I had a Westie, called Bertie (who was probably brighter and much more interesting than poor Ed).

    And an uncle who, I was told, used to manage a Mac Fisheries shop in Lancashire (that’s Lancashire, not Lanarkshire).

    Beat that Miliband.

    • HookesLaw

      My dad was stationed in Scapa Flow – does that make me Orkadian? If so I want my share of our oil.
      I did once see Harold Wilson inThurso. I don’t know who was more surprised.

      • Wessex Man

        did your fame precede you then?

  • CameronB

    A can see ma hoose frae hear. 🙂

    Thanks Alex for convincing with your brevity, your disappointment in the leading unionist party and their bid to save the Union.

  • HughTrowsers

    Hahaha!!! Yesterday I bought a second-hand four-man tent on eBay from a dude who lives near Edinborough! Free postage!!! Brilliant!!! Who says their tight???!!!

    • Nicholas chuzzlewit

      Better check where that is because the place in Scotland is called Edinburgh. Or something like that anyway.

  • anncalba

    We have a friend from Trinidad whose Hindu parents emmigrated from India to that island, where they were converted to Christianity by missionaries from the Church of Scotland, so, guess what – his middle name is Andrew!

    • Wessex Man

      good for him!

  • Hayek was right

    Every Christmas my family would sit down as a family and watch Braveheart and revel in the whole Scottishness of it all. Before that I’d no idea Mel was a butch Scots name.

    • Kitty MLB

      And you did not know why your fellow countrymen did not have
      Aussie accents. Unless, Scots originate from Australia….you never know !!!!

  • Peter Stroud

    How did this idiot get elected leader of the Labour Party? He was pathetic as a cabinet minister, getting where he did because he was a Yes Man to the mentally deranged Gordon Brown. Why, on earth, did the trade unionists vote for the man?

    • Kitty MLB

      Wee Ed was supposed to return the Labour Party to its glory days
      of the working classes.

      • asalord

        Maybe Miliband is sent by God to make sure Scotland votes Yes.

        • HJ777

          If he did, God obviously has a perverse sense of humour.

  • anncalba

    I come from generation on generation of Saxon farm labourers. Thanks to Hitler, my mother fled to Scotland to avoid the bombs. Yeh, I have a Scottish birth certificate, eat your heart out Ed Mili.

    • HookesLaw

      Whose bombs was your mother avoiding when she fled Hitler for Scotland?

  • M4rkyboy

    I had to change flights at Heathrow once.God save the Queen

    • asalord

      I had to change lights at Gatwick once.

  • smilingvulture

    The scottish mist just rose over harthill service station
    text 4325@£1 a minute for the full blether

  • Tom Hogg

    I’ve lived in Scotland all my life and never left apart from holidays. Err.. that’s it.

    • Kitty MLB

      You do know its the other way around, Mr Haggis.
      People tend to leave Scotland- only the most inverted and tribal stay ( unlike a friend of mine who
      lives in isolation on Mull far away from ferocious natives) and then when
      they visit they visit they go to the North West Highlands & the Inner and Outer Hebrides.
      Up and away – far from Glasgow.
      Good for Buying Arran sweaters though and Shetland ponies.

      • realfish

        I was once told, en route to Iona, that Mull was called ‘Little England’ by some on the island.

        So, perhaps, if Wee Salmond gets his way, the English speakers there will demand protection from Westminster and an immediate referendum, seeking union with the RUK.

        We might even send a gunboat to Tobermory to provide sanctuary (and annex the distillery there – together with its rather fine whisky).

        • allymax bruce

          I know a mate whose cat is called Tobermory.

  • Hexhamgeezer

    My mind is cast back to those halcyon days of summer in 2013, swimming in upper Coquetdale and wandering round Chew Green Roman fort, barely a caber toss from the Border. And I as I listened to the unseen warbling of a skylark I thought perchance that ‘ower the brow of that same hill, perchance a Scots family frolicked in heather and stream not so very different from that of our own dear Northumbrian Dale. And I thought of how much united us since the dark days of the Reivers. And then I thought of how popular Wee ‘Eck was over yon hill. And I then thought, FCK EM.

    • CameronB

      No need to be jealous, you’re perfectly welcome to join us. So long as you behave yourself. 😉

    • Nicholas chuzzlewit

      Nice one Geezer. I went to Scotland once and got spat at and sworn at when my team were ill mannered enough to score several tries. The next day I switched immediately and irrevocably from Scots to Quaker Oats. That showed em.

      • Bugger (the Panda)

        Same company in Fife.

        • Nicholas chuzzlewit

          At the time Quaker Oats was an independent company headquartered in Chicago. It is now a subsidiary of PepsiCo which, the last time I looked, was not Scottish.

          • Bugger (the Panda)

            Quaker owns Scotts

            • Nicholas chuzzlewit

              Just to be on the safe side, I boycotted everything I possibly could that is made in Scotland.

              • Bugger (the Panda)

                Is your nom de virtual plume, cockney rhyming slang?

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  It was a joke but I seem to have acquired a pedantic stalker as a result. A complete Barclays Banker in fact.

      • HookesLaw

        To be honest I really like haggis neeps and tatties. Its good you should try it.
        I can also come up with a long list of Scots English Welsh and Irish who have created our Union and made it prosper. I’m proud of our country and would like it to survive. No one in it, no matter from which far flung corner of it they come from, need be ashamed or have any qualms about it staying together to prosper further in its future.

        I’m sure if you wore the wrong scarf at Millwall you could get spat on.
        As some comments on this thread and various others prove, there are odious numpties everywhere.

        • the viceroy’s gin

          …there’s one wherever you go, by definition.

        • Wessex Man

          Oh for heavens sake, the Spectator decides to give us a true gift to cheer us up and then along comes Daivd Lindsay and horrible Hooky, both of whom seem to be suffering from constant humour bypass syndrome!

          • Nicholas chuzzlewit

            Actually, I think its a fake Lindsay. The syntax suggests it is none other than Telemachus in disguise. Not an issue really though because they are both equally daft. Lindsay tends to use 5,000 words where 20 would do for most people however.

            • Colonel Mustard

              Definitely telemachus. The phraseology gives it away and the ironic black labrador points to one of his stalking obsessions – the “home counties brigade with black labradors”.

              A nasty little spud who should serve to put any sane person off the Labour party for life.

              And he has the audacity to write about UKIP fruitcakes and loonies.

      • allymax bruce

        You were lucky, they beat-up Fergus!

        • Nicholas chuzzlewit

          It is the only ground apart from Paris where they boo the opposing goal kicker. My treatment was nothing less than I would expect.

          • allymax bruce

            I think in the last few games the Scots fans should be booing the refs.

            • Nicholas chuzzlewit

              Well they have little else to do. They did not even field a team against England – why was that? There were a few blokes in blue scrabbling around in that swamp masquerading as a pitch but no sign of a team. Bizarre really because you went to all that trouble with field guns, exploding bagpipes etc etc before the game but no team turned up. Very odd.

            • Wessex Man

              touch deluded there.

  • Jonathan Roberts

    Comrades, ten years ago I forgot to get my Dad a birthday present, so I rushed out and bought him a bottle of Famous Grouse scotch whisky. Scotland, you were there for me in my darkest hour. And for that I shall always be grateful. #bettertogether.

    • asalord

      A single malt tastes better than a blend. Vote yes.

    • Thomas William Dunlop

      You must really hate your dad to buy him Famous Grouse. lol

  • Mr Creosote

    The adenoidal nonentity strikes again.

  • IssyFlamel

    My great grandfather once bought a whole tin of shortbread. In a tartan box. On Burns’ night we gather around our tofu haggis, and talk about the auld times. We’ve also got a Texas cd in the car, somewhere. And still we don’t get a vote in the referendum…

    • David Lindsay.

      And what would you vote?

      • IssyFlamel

        There are strong cases made on both sides of the argument, but when it comes down to it, I cannot cleave my beloved compatriots The Krankies from my heart…

        • IssyFlamel

          Although if Frankie Boyle wants to declare himself a Faroe Islander or some such, I am mos def cool wid dat…

          • David Lindsay.

            I am little the wiser.

            • HJ777

              Sadly, that appears to be your fate in life.

              • David Lindsay.

                But I know which way I would vote

                • realfish

                  Sadly, that appears to be your fate in life.

                • David Lindsay.

                  Nail your colours to the mast

                • Colonel Mustard

                  You’d vote Labour, telemachus, even though in reality you are a communist. Just as you voted for Labour under Blair three times. Your party is full of communists, masquerading as “socialists”. If any of you were honest you’d join the Communist Party and campaign truthfully but you know in your black hearts that way you would never get the power you crave.

            • Colonel Mustard

              About anything. Does Lindsay know you are using his name? Your comments reek of telemachus rather than Lindsay’s distinctive style of saying with 200 words what could be said with 20.

              • David Lindsay.

                I believe Colonel that it was you yourself that began to understand the concept of the borg

                • Colonel Mustard

                  I’ve always understood the concept of the Borg. I was aware of the evils of socialism long before I was aware of the Borg.

                  You take liberties. In every sense of those words.

                • David Lindsay.

                  I said began.
                  Remember it is the pursuit of perfection.
                  And remember also that resistance is futile.

                  We all recognise the value of Socialism in ushering in a new way of life. There has to be some kind of window to a better future and the ushering in of human progress.

                • Wessex Man

                  will you please go forth and prosper in some other place preferably without a return ticket.

                • Kitty MLB

                  He must stay, its good target practice,
                  To see how many of these Socialist twats we can slay with the old bow and arrow.
                  Besides the Colonel would actually Miss both him and Telemachus and they would miss him. Colonel finds them
                  whacks them and we tell the chap how brave and excellent
                  he is.

                • David Lindsay.

                  “…we tell the chap how brave and excellent he is.”
                  You are a clever girl.
                  You play us all like a Stradivarius.
                  Just who are you?

                • Wessex Man

                  Someone with a sense of humour, so you wouldn’t reconise her.

                • David Lindsay.

                  By definition those who vote for UKIP of course must have a sense of humour.
                  Would you be:
                  A fruitcake?
                  A loony?
                  A waif and stray?

                • allymax bruce

                  Dont’ forget to add Village Idiot?

                • Wessex Man

                  How dare you be so rude to Kitty!

                • Colonel Mustard

                  No, only you fall for such guile. You are a dealer in guile.

                • David Lindsay.

                  Someone who always acts virtuously will quickly come to a sticky end among the multitude who were not at all virtuous. Hence the successful political commentator must learn how and when to act in a dishonest and immoral way, and must be much better at acting dishonourably than those around him.

                • Colonel Mustard

                  You could have just said that you are a charlatan. Or one of the other words for it:-

                  mountebank, sham, fraud, fake, humbug, impostor, pretender, masquerader, hoodwinker, hoaxer, cheat, deceiver, dissembler, double-dealer, trickster, rogue, villain, scoundrel, etc.

                  Perfect for modern British politics in fact, which has not a shred of honour to its name.

                  But to suggest that you are a ‘successful’ political commentator is stretching credulity even for your enormous ego.

                • Kitty MLB

                  Maybe The Lady of the lake.
                  Or some obscure mysterious academic
                  Conserative, who wanders this place
                  observing other. And slaying those
                  within the oblivion of a fallen socialist mind.

                • David Lindsay.

                  She paused,—then, blushing, led the lay,
                  To grace the stranger of the day.
                  Her mellow notes awhile  prolong
                  The cadence of the flowing song,
                  Till to her lips in measured frame
                  The minstrel verse spontaneous came.

                  The problem is that the minstrel’s song is the wrong colour.

                • Colonel Mustard

                  Only according to you.

                  And, as in uffish thought he stood,
                  The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
                  Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
                  And burbled as it came:-

                  Brown! Saviour of the world!
                  Balls! Charisma beyond ken!
                  Caring and reasonable
                  Only we!
                  Blah, blah, a thousand times blah!

                • David Lindsay.

                  It warms the cockles, does it not when the fallen repent and come into the fold:

                  “Brown! Saviour of the world!
                  Balls! Charisma beyond ken!
                  Caring and reasonable
                  Only we!”

                • Colonel Mustard

                  That’s your chant not mine. Twist and deceive as much as you like, Jabberwock.

                  Is there anything honest about you?

                • Wessex Man

                  NURSE! NUrse! Nurse! nur zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

                • Kitty MLB

                  Or This.. Labours Red Rose, thou art sick.
                  the invisible worm
                  that flies the night , in thy howling storm,( of caterwauling deceit)
                  Has found out thy bed,
                  of crimson joy and his dark secret love ( of the evils of socialism)
                  Does thy life destroy.

                • David Lindsay.

                  Labours Red Rose, thou art sick.
                  the invisible worm
                  that flies the night , in thy howling storm,( of caterwauling deceit)
                  Has found out thy bed,
                  of crimson joy and his dark secret love ( of the evils of iiolsocialism)
                  Does thy life destroy.

                • Kitty MLB

                  As the sun shone through the early morning mist
                  she rose up from her watery abyss..
                  Oh you mention colour…
                  The beauty o a colourful mind overshadowed by the darkness of seeing colour.

                • Colonel Mustard

                  Or Æthelfæda come to claim her father’s kingdom.

                • Wessex Man

                  ah Colonel, nice!

                • Colonel Mustard

                  “We all recognise the value of Socialism in ushering in a new way of life.”

                  Indeed we do. But unfortunately for you socialists your track record demonstrates that ‘new way of life’ and ‘better way of life’ are mutually exclusive. You are the architects of misery everywhere you rule and have ruled, from Lenin to Chavez, from Wilson to Brown, whilst puffing yourselves up with the incredible vanity of your supposed achievements based on an arrogant assumption that only you know best how to improve the human condition, together with a remarkable propensity for denial, deflection or shifting blame for everything that goes wrong. Which brings us to a singular characteristic in which you truly do excel. And that is in lying through your teeth.

                  Even your shapeshifting on this blog speaks volumes about your duplicity. An honest broker for Labour would post comments and legitimate arguments under a single name. All you do is engage in peddling propaganda and purveying provocative, nasty mischief. You must think yourself very clever – well of course, the arrogance and ego radiate from the page – but you are despised. And instead of bringing credit to your party you demonstrate its embrace of dishonesty.

                  Which makes me believe you are perhaps a false flag operation on behalf of the Tories. No sane person could write the garbage you do and expect it to edify the party it supposedly represents. If you do work in in the online Volksaufklärung und Propaganda section of the national socialist party calling itself Labour then the best favour The Son of Communist could do for his electoral prospects would be to sack you. With ‘friends’ like you he doesn’t need enemies.

                • David Lindsay.

                  Misunderstanding runs deep.
                  Your continual jibes at the Grave of Ralph do us all a bad service.
                  Your kind need to understand and appreciate that not only are we alone able to understand how to improve the human condition (that is the greater good for all) but you have also to understand that those who fail to appreciate this require ultimate sanction.
                  You also in dancing on graves need to understand that the interim leader who lacks charisma and drive has little power or resolve to sack even the most gross deviants in our movement.

                • allymax bruce

                  I hope you don’t mind me butting-in, but can I clarify what you’re saying, David Lindsay; your bosses, the Zionists, (money-changers), tell yoos Marxists (Labour Party), tae brainwash the Proletariet, (the masses), to make them Communists (drones); to achieve a perfect society?

                • David Lindsay.

                  Sounds a bit like comments that were doing the rounds in Berlin in 1929

                • allymax bruce

                  Well, am I right?
                  Feel free to replace any Political Ideal iconography, but is this the general trend of your statement?

                • Kitty MLB

                  Well or course you are right dear Ally ( or Mr Haggis if you prefer)
                  Any many a socialist acolyte will know that also.

                • Wessex Man

                  There’s no way of knowing, he’s probably gone off to think about it, then again he might write a book about it!

                • Colonel Mustard

                  ” . . . not only are we alone able to understand how to improve the human condition (that is the greater good for all) but you have also to understand that those who fail to appreciate this require ultimate sanction.”

                  Long suspected that you were just a spoof – probably Rod Liddle. I’ve just had a chat about you with a good friend in the media and he is going to formally approach Labour HQ to ask them if they endorse “David Lindsay’s” quote on their behalf that dissenters to their unannounced single party state policy should be executed.

                  http://davidaslindsay.blogspot.co.uk/

                  No dancing on graves (unlike the Left on Thatcher). Only fact. Red Ed is the son of a communist.

                • Ooh!MePurse!

                  I followed this link. Good grief, it’s more than dreadful! One unifying feature of the general dross and garbage was the words ‘No Comments’ at the end of every post, apart from one (four comments). Nobody reads your blog, it would be sad if it was not heart warming.

                • Colonel Mustard

                  Er, it’s not my blog. It’s David Lindsay’s blog.

                • Ooh!MePurse!

                  Sorry if I gave the wrong impression Colonel. I can confirm that my comments were about Lindsay’s lonely little blog.

            • Nicholas chuzzlewit

              And you never will be. You are simply too thick.

              • David Lindsay.

                As this thread on this thread was questioning the voting intentions in the only important referendum in the news you may, on reflection consider your comment a little trite.
                Up here in the North East we feel as estranged from Westminster as the average Glaswegian but we see the benefits of collective strength.

                • Nicholas chuzzlewit

                  You are right, I have reconsidered. You are extremely thick.

            • Moriarty

              No but you are better informed.

      • Wessex Man

        Trust you! all the jovial comments helping me cure my hangover and you have to pop up and kill the mood, you miserable person you!

        Go and write another bestseller from the carboot season!

  • Martin Adamson

    While we are on the subject of Alan Partridge and Mr Pooter, do you stand by your columns of a couple of weeks ago, boldly stating that Putin had failed in Crimea?

    http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/2014/03/vladimir-putin-is-losing-the-battle-for-ukraine/

    http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/2014/03/the-clock-is-ticking-for-vladimir-putin-in-ukraine-he-has-missed-his-best-chance-of-victory/

    • CameronB

      Vladimir Putin = ex. K.G.B. agent.
      David Cameron = ex. public relations salesman.

      • Wessex Man

        Alex Salmond = ex Arc of Prosperity advocate.

        • orkers

          Oh I don’t know the ‘arc’ seems to be doing OK for itself.

          • Wessex Man

            tell that to the houses waiting for people in Ireland.

            • Jambo25

              Yet all the countries Salmond named have living standards higher than the UK’s and a number appear to be recovering from the 2008 crash faster than rUK in fiscal terms.

              • Wessex Man

                Do you honestly believwe that? I am a regular visitor to friends in Ireland and not the fashionable parts.

                • Jambo25

                  Its what all reputable international tables show. Its also what friends who are working in Ireland tell me.

                • Wessex Man

                  so in other words you are just being you.

                • Jambo25

                  Are you now simply putting the output of a random word generator on this posting now?

                • Wessex Man

                  why on earth would I do that?

                • Jambo25

                  Because your last posting appeared to have no discernible meaning.

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