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The strange tale of Wendi and Tone

6 February 2014

11:04 AM

6 February 2014

11:04 AM

Have you ever harboured affection for Tony Blair’s arse? According to reports, you may not be alone. Wendi Deng, Rupert Murdoch’s former missus, apparently yearned for Tony’s piercing blue eyes, sexy legs and, indeed, ‘butt’. I assume that means his arse, rather than some device perhaps situated in his garden and utilised for the capture of rainwater. She could always have bought her own one of those, maybe from B&Q.

Wendi and Tone, Wendi and Tone. The more unlikely a pairing reported at first sotto voce in the papers, the more probable it is that it’s true. Who’d have banked on the visually impaired Home Secretary David Blunkett and the Spectator publisher Kimberley Fortier? Not me. People told me about it and I said: ‘Pish’. Well, or something like ‘pish’. And I worked here at the time. Still do, for that matter. But I say it again – the more unlikely the reported pairing, the more probable it is that it’s true. Tone, though, has denied it, which Blunkett never did.

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Show comments
  • Jackthesmilingblack

    Blair’s Achilles heel? Consider the knock-on effects.
    That “Misfortune to Tony Blair” chant seems to be working.

  • Tuff

    Oh. Of course. Bill Clinton and Liz Hurley. Bill’s wrinkly old butt pumping up and down. English rose. Yuk.

    • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

      She wouldn’t have him.

  • Tuff

    Did anybody see Psychobitches? Barbara Castle and Michael Foot.

    • Ron Todd

      Gleggy boy (about time he got a mention) and Dame Edna Evaridge

  • Tuff

    I’d do Harriet Harman. We’d sing The Red Flag on achieving simultaneous climax. Harriet ….. if you’re reading this, you could have been mine …. Carlton Hill, NW8? 1960 > 1982? Only a garden fence separated us.

  • Doggie Roussel

    Apparently, the chatelaine of 10 Downing Street could not master the Singapore grip, so well-mastered by some of Tony’s Eastern friends (qv Mrs Simpson).

    She also forgot her contraceptive gear when holidaying with HM The Queen… not surprising that her client base in her law chambers quickly evaporated.

  • Simon Fay

    Caroline Flint and David Aaronovitch.

    • Ron Todd

      BoJo SuBo

  • Doggie Roussel

    Perhaps that’s why Tone converted to Catholicism… the religion for sinners. I forget to whom that quote was attributed.

  • scampy1

    A weak character like Tony the phony Blair would be too scared of his low class foul mouthed scouser wife.

    • Doggie Roussel

      Do you mean his more intelligent, more acquisitive and more hated wife… not surprising really… wasn’t her father Alf Garnet ?

  • scampy1

    A weak character like Tony the phony Blair would be too scared of his low class foul mouthed scouser wife.

  • K BB

    QTWTAIN

  • gelert

    Peter Mandelson and Polly Toynbee.

  • Jenny Murphy

    In defense of Rupert Murdoch, Wendi Deng is a nut:
    http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2013/06/13/rupert-murdochs-divorce/

    • David Kay

      In defense of Wendi Deng, all women are nuts

  • Agrippina

    Wendi the Yale graduate who cannot spell ‘but’ as in bottom, standards are slipping.

    She did marry an older man(30yrs her senior) the sponsor who got her to the USA and promptly divorced him when she received her green card. Then she married the youthful Murdoch when he was 68 and she 31. Perhaps she believes TB is closer to her in age and his ‘but’ is preferable to the slightly saggy Rupe bottom!

    I am sure she will find someone, who will find her divorce settlement, very attractive.

    • post_x_it

      Dubya is also a Yale graduate. Perhaps his spelling is better than his oral syntax. Perhaps not.

      • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

        I voted for Dubya and saw him with Mr Cheney at the election 2000 Chicago rally. Great stuff.

        Dubya is just fine as a speaker and a mind. His great problem in the Leftist media is that he is … not one of them. I’m as snooty as anyone going and I would have given Mr President a kiss right smack in the cheek and you could photograph it for all the world and posterity (not that anyone would). Good man, Dubya. One of my fave quotes, from the look-a-like speaking presidential doll of him:
        ‘You’re working hard to put food on your family’. Great fun.

        All politicians misspeak. Obama does it all the time. And is famously dependent on his Teleprompter….

  • Frank

    Don’t get this. When I met him, I thought that Tony Blair had the eyes of a labrador, yearning for approval. He is fundamentally wet, so how could Wendi fancy him after old Rupe (who is a pretty tough old buster)?

    • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

      Looking at the vast majority of men, I wonder how we women can fancy any of them. Nearly all the good looks of the species seem to reside in the female side. It’s not fair, really — on us!

      • Ron Todd

        My body matches my soul neither much good.

        • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

          I’m sorry to hear it. At least you’re lucky enough to be a man. I wish *I* were one. As far as I can tell, your s=x has all the advantages, except with respect to baldness. I’ve lived 46 years as a female now, and maleness is definitely better.

          • Ron Todd

            Always thought the pretty ones had an advantage at least they often seem to get away with being total female dogs (I am learning to work round the censor programme.)

            • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

              A reasonable assumption but only because you’re not female and don’t know what it’s like (actually to be one). Look at it this way: the advantages that men have for the sake of the species are *also* beneficial to men as individuals. Whereas, the features of womanhood that serve the species don’t actually serve us as individuals – quite the contrary. Think of all the physical features of a woman’s life, which generally stink. And I say this as a free person. Imagine what it’s like for women all over the world and in history that, being the smaller, weaker, and more responsible for the welfare of the children, were sitting ducks for the predations of men!

              • Ron Todd

                I imagine in the third world particularly India Africa and the Muslim countries being a woman is not very pleasant.

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  No — and that’s why religion is so important to women, I think. Precisely because this life is so grotty for them, they want to feel it will be better in the next.

                • Ron Todd

                  Yes but if their societies were less religious life might be a lot better for them.

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  Ah yes, but there we begin to put our finger on it: ‘God is not one’, as the book says. Better to be an Enlightenment Christian than to be… you get my drift.

                • Ron Todd

                  In modern western society religion is largely neutered. By providing a society where there was no social or financial penalty to not belonging to the dominant religion we were letting religion fade away (USA an exception) without the coercion used in communist countries.

                  New Labour immigration policy is giving us a large part of society for whom saying openly I don’t believe this religious stuff any more would be very dangerous. I don’t know if the rest of society will respond by getting more religious or less.

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  Good point. Though with respect to the USA, I’m not sure that it’s long-term such an exception: the Left has been going hammer and tongs at religion, and particularly Christianity in any form, for a long time. I don’t know whether you’re familiar with America, but I find that its religiosity and other traits tend to be exaggerated in foreigner’s minds. And that is often a deliberate ploy of the Left, here and in other parts of the world, to present Americans as all rootin’ tootin’ gunslinging God-fearing rubes. I do find it mildly amusing, however, that there is a Shotgun Lane not far from where I live. I wonder how many Shotgun Lanes there are in Britain.

                • Ron Todd

                  I was in Texas a while back and the town I was in had an awful lot of churches. One of the companies employees who was there long term could only get his children into a good school if he went to one of the churches. One of the Americans came to Southampton as was distressed because he was unable to go to confession every day before work. Even if it is exaggerated there are parts of America that are a lot more religious than we are.

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  Hi Ron, I replied to you but got modded for totally inscrutable reasons.

                  Here’s the comment with the norty word merely suggested:
                  Yes, that’s true. But there’s also a h ll of a lot of atheism here, as well. Especially in the cities. The urban/rural divide is very strong here and is really what is indicated by the so-called red state/blue state division (really: counties rather than states).

                • Ron Todd

                  I would not imply that every body in America even the red states are overly religious. however any country that can seriously debate teaching creationism or intelligent design still has problems.

              • Frank

                I do understand. I imagine that this is what has made so many women have real character, whereas lots of men can reside in Peter Pan-dom all their lives. Wendi could do a zillion times better than Blair as she is possibly discovering.

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  Mm. Men have real character, too (or can). It’s just that they have more fun. Except when they’re making war, of course. That’s not fun.

  • Eyesee

    I believe you will find that TB has never, especially when it could affect his ‘standing’, told the truth. And as for Wendi, why would she want to catch TB?

    • Ron Todd

      Was she trying to move from a rich man to an even richer man?

  • Hexhamgeezer

    Angela Eagle and Michael Fabricant

    • Nicholas chuzzlewit

      Gordon Brown and Yvette Balls.

      • Hexhamgeezer

        She’d go tops

      • Ron Todd

        Gordon Brown Britney Spears.

        OK OK I will stop now.

        • Baron

          Why would you stop, don’t.

          Prince Charles and Lembit Opik?, after all it’s a pansexual age.

          • Ron Todd

            Keith Vaz and Monica Lewinsky

            • Ron Todd

              Prince Edward and Madonna (anybody know a good lawyer?)

          • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

            That’s my favourite one, Baron! :^o

    • Victor168

      Eric Pickles and the Eagle sisters in a soapy sandwich.

      • Hexhamgeezer

        Chapeau!

  • startledcod

    ‘Tone, though, has denied it’ and we’ve never had any reason to doubt his word, ever.

    I dunno, that Wendi Deng, on a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give her 1.

    • Ron Todd

      I would love to give her one.

      • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

        Would you really? In exchange for how much?

        • Ron Todd

          Not sure how much I could afford.

          • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

            How about Fergie instead? You could probably afford to suck her toes.

            • gerontius

              Swanky, you have a wicked streak.

              • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                I do indeed, G. :^[]

                • gerontius

                  Who are the weirdos following us around down-voting these innocent little quips?
                  I don’t have any enemies. Do you?

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  Apparently I do, G. Sad, isn’t it? Nothing better to do than sit around all day hoping I’ll say something in the gaps of my busy schedule just so he/they can vote me down. Personally I don’t understand why Disqus makes upvotes ‘declared’ but downvotes anonymous. What’s the point?

                • Kitty MLB

                  The both of you are excellent, very amusing, and nice.
                  whilst others sometimes wander around in a stuffy
                  Dickensian gloom.
                  I am sure you don’t have any enemies in the UK.
                  We are a reasonable bunch, do not hold grudges,
                  straight talking, not intrusive, understand each others quirky
                  characters ( thankfully) The chaps are always gracious and I
                  find gallant – Even in todays modern feminist world.
                  So No, Swanky this is a reasonable country,
                  Agree with you about the up and down votes-
                  everything should be above board or not at all
                  ConservativeHome do not show either,
                  I only give thumbs down to rabid Lefties-
                  and usually hurt my thumbs on the keyboard doing so 😉

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  Thanks very much for that, Kitty. Gerontius is certainly a swell chap and I’m glad to have made his acquaintance — and yours, and Fergus’s.

                  As for the Lefties: you go, girl!

  • Daniel Maris

    Was Major and Currie an unlikely pairing or a likely pairing? – never been quite sure on that one.

    • gerontius

      Either way, the important point is that they saved two other people from a gruesome, and probably undeserved, fate.

  • Sir Herbert Gusset

    Time to ask Tone, methinks. Tone…?

    • post_x_it

      Has he already been released on citizen’s bail?

  • Fencesitter

    Let joy be unconfined across the breakfast tables of the nation… This pure tabloid gold is enough to make you drop your bacon sarnie. Probably wise to have a sick bucket handy, though.

    • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

      I remember that. The next thing I heard, they were divorced. What happened?

      • Baron

        They fell out of love, Swanky, had to part company. Life’s so unpredictable.

        • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

          Funny: as I get older I’m not so sure it is.

  • Hayek was right

    In true Blair style the denial was along the lines of ‘he is not having an affair with Wendi’. But that does not mean he was not previously. Or what constitutes an affair?

    ‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman’ turned out to mean something different to Bill C, than what most people understood.

    • anneallan

      Is Tone into cigars?

      • post_x_it

        One rather hopes it’s not the other way round.

  • arnoldo87

    Slow news day, Rod?

  • Muggy Dog

    I can’t think of a more gruesome twosome. This has knocked John Major and Edwina Currie off the number one spot on the gruesome twosome hit parade, where they had remained unchallenged for years.

    • Ron Todd

      I can Mr Blair and Mrs Blair.

      • Muggy Dog

        You’re right. the chart is becoming more fluid all of a sudden.Can Blair knock himself off the top spot and make history

        • Fencesitter

          Marcus Brigstocke and Diane Abbott.

          • Ron Todd

            Glenda Jackson and John Prescott

            • Ron Todd

              Harriet Harman Justin Bieber

              • startledcod

                Harriet Harman and anyone.

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  None of you would be allowed to do this on the Telegraph. It’s becoming the Guardian Lite, not least with respect to the moderating.

                • Ron Todd

                  When Labour are in power and Hacked off Luvies are setting he anti free speech agenda we will not be allowed to do this anywhere.

                • David davis

                  Have you noticed how, in fact now on the Censor-DailyGraph, comments are turned off for the items most likely to attract All Of The Enraged British People?

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  I have indeed, David. Cowardly, isn’t it? What are they worried about?

                • ArchiePonsonby

                  The truth! They can’t handle the truth!

              • gerontius

                That would be illegal surely: He must be under-age.

            • Ron Todd

              Germain Greer and Bernard Manning OK I will stop now.

          • La Fold

            After seeing Marcus Brigstocke talk about politics i think he should stick to Horrible Histories, thats about his level.

          • Tuff

            Dianne Abbott, Michael Portillo and Andrew Neil in a threesome.

            • Fencesitter

              With respect, Sir, that is genius. You’ve cheated slightly by upping the stakes to a Gruesome Threesome, but I can only salute you.

          • The_greyhound

            Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper.

            Er …….

        • Roger Harris

          Tone and Elton John

          • Neil Saunders

            You’re getting dangerously close to the truth there.

            • Fencesitter

              A late entry just in…

              Bono and Bob Geldof

              • Fencesitter

                Add Desmond Tutu for the threesome if you like.

                Alternatively, if you prefer to hold on to your lunch, don’t.

      • GUBU

        Mr and Mrs Bercow…

        • Ron Todd

          Mrs Bercow Russel Brand

          • Fencesitter

            Addictive, isn’t it?

            Sample dialogue between the Bercows following this week’s events:

            She: Berk!

            He: Cow!

            Etc.

            • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

              Nice one, Cyril.

          • GUBU

            I think even a self confessed sexual incontinent like Mr Brand has his boundaries…

          • Roger Harris

            Tone and Saddam Hussein.
            They fell out of love.
            The rest is history.

    • post_x_it

      Al Bano and Romina Power?

      • Fencesitter

        Rod, have you ever been half of a gruesome twosome pairing that you would care to share with your loyal readers? Perhaps a brief dalliance with Shami Chakrabarti? Or a night of passion with Nick Cohen?

      • Roger Harris

        Tone and Colonel Gaddafi

    • gerontius

      Though let’s not forget that Tony Blair seduced an entire nation, so he must have something.

      • GUBU

        Mr Blair did indeed possess a strange, undefineable appeal for voters, with than inane grin of his acting like a form of electoral rohypnol.

        It was only when we came to the following morning that we realized he’d buggered us senseless.

      • The Laughing Cavalier

        Seduced or screwed?

      • David davis

        As someone said on Guido about that fellow “monsieur-le-President-Sauce-Hollandaise” and some actroid or other… “If you are going to **ck the whole of France, then this would seem a good place to start”.

    • ArchiePonsonby

      Wendi? Gruesome? Oh, I don’t know. I would!

  • gerontius

    My perfectly innocent comment is awaiting moderation because I copied and pasted the first line of Rod’s blog.
    Oh God, give me strength.

    • Mr Grumpy

      You’ll never see it again, mate (your comment, I mean, not Tone’s a**e). Same happened to me when I commented about P***y Riot..

      • gerontius

        Your right.
        I think I was saying something about Rod clearly trying to win an award for the most unpleasant first line ever published in a blog ever, anywhere, anytime.

        • startledcod

          That should read ‘you’re right’, just saying.

          • gerontius

            You pendant you, but corrected

            • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

              He’s low hung?

              • gerontius

                There’s a quote on Tim Worstall’s blog that he has saved for posterilty in his “Vainglory” section.. The great Polly Toynbee accuses him of being a pedant but mispells the word and calls him a pendant.
                It’s just funny I guess and it stuck. – pedants are always pendants in my book ,
                http://www.timworstall.com/

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  I’ll have a look, thanks. I wrote ‘pendant’ the other day, just because I knew there was an n in there and gave two for good measure! (i.e. quickly typing, made a mistake)

                • gerontius

                  Keep scrolling south.
                  Swanky, why are girls so impatient?

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  ‘Keep scrolling south’: I bet you say that to all the girls!

                  Why so impatient? Probably because we’re trying to save the world on another blog.

                • gerontius

                  How did you get on? Saving the world I mean, not scrolling south.

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  I was a hit, thanks for asking.

                • Ron Todd

                  Polly Toynbee and Ant and Dec (are we allowed threesomes?)

            • startledcod

              I like it when a man takes it in good spirit.

    • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

      You’ll never see it again. Always copy your posts before hitting the ‘post’ button (or even afterwards, while you can still see your own text), and paste somewhere safe. Then try again with slight alterations. Usually works for me.

      • Kitty MLB

        Has anyone else been having problems posting today,
        I thought it was my computer, then Disqus said it had issue,
        and then my e- mail address strangely disappeared- its back now.
        I also never copy my posts, I don’t even write anything down
        before posting, just write what pops into my obscure brain,
        so therefore if my posts disappeared I am stuck ( if I forgot what I was thinking about that is ) 😉

        • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

          No problems with Disqus here. Nothing wrong with composing in the text box, but sometimes it pays to copy what you’ve written before you hit ‘post’. The Speccie is particularly gracious, though, in letting you see your spiked post, and even edit it and try to post again. At the Telegraph, when you lose it, it’s just lost.

          • Kitty MLB

            Thank you, Very kind of you. I did not quite
            know what to do, shall try to remember.

            • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

              It’s a pleasure.

          • gerontius

            “Behind” was my mother’s most refined word for the part in question – when discussing her behind with the vicar or somesuch..

            • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

              Yes, I’d forgotten that one. I like bum and bottom best though, because they don’t sound like euphemisms.

          • Kitty MLB

            This is what I mean about problems wit my E- Mail,
            it only showed me the first part of you post.
            I did not see the rest until I scelepped
            myself here…Scelepped is a old English word- never used!
            Perhaps.. Derriere is a better word.

            • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

              No, it’s not your e-mail, Kitty: I added the last bit, later, when I saw that it was not elsewhere on the blog.

            • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

              I suppose ‘derrière’ is all right if you’re French, but to me it sounds a bit silly. Bum just calls it what it is, without being embarrassed.

              • Kitty MLB

                Nether Region ?

                • http://ajbrenchley.com/ Swanky

                  Too inclusive.

    • Baron

      Be it a lesson for you, gerontius, plagiarism must be discouraged even at the cost of upsetting gentle people.

      • gerontius

        You are a wise man Baron

  • post_x_it

    And then of course we’ve just found out that Liz Hurley has after all failed to be one of the few women alive in the nineties who didn’t get it on with Clinton. Fascinating, I say.

    • Ron Todd

      She would say that wouldn’t she. No woman aspiring to any level of respectability would admit to (trying to think of an appropriate phrasing that won’t get me censored) a liaison with Clinton.

    • anneallan

      So that’s her and Hillary. Numbers are creeping up.

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