Who is Natalie Rowe’s ‘Joe’?

21 October 2013

11:44 AM

21 October 2013

11:44 AM

The only question on lips this morning: Who is Joe? This mysterious character lurks on the pages of a new book by Natalie Rowe, a former prostitute and dominatrix who was once photographed with George Osborne. Rowe will only confirm that ‘Joe’ was ‘a young politician’ when she knew him and that he became a minister. It has been made very clear that ‘Joe’ is not the Chancellor of the Exchequer, so who is he?

‘There was a spark of attraction ­between us. We once had a snog at one of my parties and, as we chatted, he told me he’d never had a black girl before. Not because he didn’t want to, just because he never had the chance. Then he steered the topic around to ­domination, before asking: ‘Would you consider dominating me?’ I would, of course. I made it clear to Joe that our relationship would be strictly professional. That meant he would have to pay. ‘Of course,’ he said. ‘I understand.’ I explained how every client had a safe word – something to shout if I went beyond their pain threshold – then I’d stop the session. Joe chose Mary. I have no idea what the significance was and I didn’t think to ask. When we went to the bedroom he put the money on a side table – £350.’

Mr Steerpike will spare you the lurid details, but:

‘During the next session I got the impression he couldn’t quite believe what he was doing. It would have been more awkward without the coke to release his inhibitions. ‘Tell me how much you love and adore me,’ I’d demand as he sucked my heels and licked my shoe. It was tricky with Joe because he was a close friend. Normally, clients expected me to keep an emotional distance – the less they knew about me the better.’ 

Rowe and her agent Andrew Lownie will be laughing their heads off this morning, while someone in Whitehall is sweating it out.

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Show comments
  • Steve Straw Hulmes

    There’s another book out there out the moment. Instant Whips and Dream Toppings by Jacky Donovan. Again its the story of a dominatrix but this one is really different. A real life ‘dom rom com’ as it says on the cover. Not so much a kiss and tell (although she did reveal in a recent newspaper interview who the MP in Chapter 1 was) but a really well written, really funny book. A love story interspersed with client stories. I urge you all to read it – the best bit was spotting all the songs and advert references dotted throughout the book.

  • bwims

    The debauchery of the 21st century is like the 18th century all over again. Now that this perversion has become “ordinary” presumably people will start up rape and murder clubs. Here’s hoping for a 21st century equivalent to the Victorian era. I’m sick to death of all this garbage.

    • Steve Straw Hulmes

      I’d say give this one a try. It’s a really funny book, above anything else..

  • Thats_news

    I once saw an MP in M&S, but I don’t think that counts.

  • Eddie

    S & M?
    I thought they all did their shopping at Waitrose (or got their nanny to do it…)

  • roger

    S and? M. And I though all politicians were all ‘S’ and the poor voters just ‘M’.

  • Jackthesmilingblack

    What politician enjoys S&M?
    Dunno. Beats me.

  • blindsticks

    Bollocks. It WAS George O.

  • rtj1211

    You do have to wonder with this ‘Joe’ and ‘Mary’ whether ‘Joe’ was a senior member of the Anglican Communion, don’t you?!

  • David J Noble

    damn ! oh dear .

  • Josh

    Do we really care? I was dumb enough to download the book and it was worst fetish read for a long time and I thought 50 Shades was bad enough. Girl becomes prostitute. screws men. makes loadsa money. becomes domme. has no other skills so writes book naming names. now trying to capitalise on it. Bigger problems in the world than what any of these people did in their private lives surely

    • blindsticks

      Half of them don’t even write the books. Most are ghosted. But really, has S&M ever been so boring as now. .

      • Josh

        If a ghostwriter wrote it that makes the crime of it being so tediously written even greater. At least if it’s a prostitute writing it you could forgive her for not knowing how to write….but a ghostwriter should know better. Seems like it’s all downhill with each new publication that comes along on S&M

  • rtj1211

    Maybe the Chinese are paying for the publication so they can drive harder bargains with Gorgeous George?!

  • rtj1211

    Surely it’ll do a white Tory’s credentials no end of good being open minded enough to use a black prostitute?! Can’t call THEM racist, can you?!

  • neotelemachus

    It is a remarkable fact that, if “Joe” was the excellent Boris it would increase his popularity, and people would laugh it off, and any other politician would be shitting themselves. If half of what I did as a young man came out while I was climbing the slippery slope, I would never have got to the boardroom; luckily I thought that a career in politics would be a waste of my talents and chose business instead.

    • lotte678

      He was never a minister.

      • neotelemachus

        Congratulations, you win my pedant of the week award. Now go and look up the meaning of the conditional ‘if’.

  • roger

    Cocaine and ecstasy ?
    Tell that to the coppers as you go through the Downing Street gates. What does his protection officer think?

  • keith

    the politician with the safe word Louise, must be glad they changed the names, although his coke habit might give it away

  • Abhay

    Well, whoever Joe may be, here’s Mirror saying something slightly different

    • The Red Bladder

      So are they saying he did to Natalie what he later did to the economy?