The metro left turns on Julian ‘L. Ron Hubbard’ Assange

11 February 2013

8:35 AM

11 February 2013

8:35 AM

Ah, at last the scales have fallen from Jemima Khan’s lovely fluttery little doe eyes. Having forked out £20,000 towards Julian Assange’s bail, the pouting metro-lefty socialite has come to the conclusion that the bloke is a bit of a rum chap, all things considered. She has even compared him to the barking charlatan who founded Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard and described Assange as demanding from his followers ‘blinkered, cultish, devotion.’

Well, sure – we tried to tell you that at the time, poppet. But you’re still not getting your money back. I wonder if the Ecuadoreans are sick of Assange yet, sitting in the basement of their embassy, referring to himself in the third person and tapping away at his laptop with a messianic look in his eyes? I’ve changed my mind about Assange too, as it happens. Rather than extradite him to Sweden on those rape charges, let’s leave him exactly where he is, forever. And for any other Latin American embassies who feel themselves possessed by the spirit of Che Guevara, we’ve got plenty of other self-obsessed metro lefties you can have, if you’re interested. Venezuela, for example, could have custody of Pilger. And we could send Mary Beard to the Argentinians, in lieu of Las Malvinas.

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Show comments
  • Simon Morgan

    Let’s add George Galloway to this list of undesirables. He has to be the worst of all, surely?

    • MaxSceptic

      George Al Galloway, surely. (BTW, Has his Relief Flotilla arrived in Syria yet?)

  • Austin Barry

    “…, referring to himself in the third person and tapping away at his laptop with a messianic look in his eyes? ”

    Well done, Rod, you’ve also described Telemachus, the resident Coffee House troll who could be usefully consigned to penal and penile servitude in a Peruvian prison where his anguished yelps would remain unheard by the rest of us.

  • MaxSceptic

    How long before Ms J ditches the ‘Khan’ moniker and reverts to dhimmi status?

    • PaulinusMinimus

      She risks a death sentence-fatwa is she does.

      • Daniel Maris

        She used to lecture us about how wonderful life in Pakistan was. Strangely, she no longer does.

        • PaulinusMinimus

          Yeah. Funny that. I wonder why?

  • andy_gill

    Assange should be congratulated on assisting the state to liberate Jemima’s funds. Property is theft.

  • Kyle-Noel Taylor

    Rape charges? He hasen’t been charged yet.

  • OldSlaughter

    Ha ha. Rod, don’t ever stop.

  • Hexhamgeezer

    .and Jon Snow….

  • Wessex Man

    Bit slow on this one again, it was in the papers days ago, still mustn’t startle you at your age.

    • humeanbeing

      I’m sure your blog is bang up to the minute, Wessex Man. If you’d care to share the URL, I’ll take care to avoid the stampede…

      • Wessex Man

        I don’t have a load of lackeys around to do the hard work for me like Rod.

  • ReefKnot

    Pilger and Beard -is that all ?. Can’t Patagonia find somewhere for Toynbee- please ?

    • Brian_R_Allen

      And the girlyman, Cameron?

      • Forest Fan

        ‘girlyman’….made me laugh. Thanks…needed that.

    • Nicholas chuzzlewit

      No country on earth, howevever deranged, murderous, stupid or deluded, deserves the imposition of Polly Toynbee on their bedraggled shores. Most would take the famine, pestllence or plague of locusts options before taking Toynbee. Nice idea though.

      • The_greyhound

        No, but she deserves a spell in North Korea.