Taki competes for Lindsay Lohan’s affections

5 November 2012

12:55 PM

5 November 2012

12:55 PM

T’was not in another lifetime, but in New York last week that our very own Taki became rather smitten with Hollywood bad girl Lindsay Lohan. Writing in this week’s magazine, the old rogue recounts how he weathered Hurricane Sandy with the troubled actress, more famed for her binges than her fortitude:

‘I went to Brooklyn, to Norman Mailer’s house, now inhabited by his son Michael, got completely crocked and proceeded to the Boom Boom room, the best nightclub in the Bagel.  Once up there, I got a bit confused but chatted up a beautiful girl who seemed awfully friendly and nice. She asked me what I did and I told her I was a bodyguard to a movie producer, but she laughed and said I didn’t look like a bodyguard. We got on swimmingly as they say, and the night went by rather quickly. I have no idea how I got home but the next day Michael called and congratulated me. ‘She was very pretty,’ he said. ‘And she liked you a lot, wanted to see you again.’ I asked him if he got her name. He laughed. ‘Are you putting me on?’ I had no idea what he was on about. ‘You mean to tell me you didn’t know you were with Lindsay Lohan? Cut the bs.’ Goes to show that one should never believe the tabloids. She was pretty as a picture and a very sweet girl and I will see her again, if Sandy doesn’t get me first.’

As the poet said: beauty walks a razor’s edge someday I’ll make it mine. But, sadly, Taki was not the only gentleman Lindsay befriended during the storm. Actor turned NBC Late Night Live host Jimmy Fallon said in an interview last night that the ‘totally sobes’ Lohan took him under her wing when he decamped to the Four Seasons from his flooded apartment:

‘She goes ‘What’s up?’ I go, ‘What do you mean what’s up? It’s a hurricane. What are you doing here?’ She goes, ‘Are you here by yourself? How embarrassing.’ And she goes, ‘Why don’t you just eat with us? Hang out with us?’’

Come in she said, I’ll give ya, shelter from the storm.

Subscribe to The Spectator today for a quality of argument not found in any other publication. Get more Spectator for less – just £12 for 12 issues.

Show comments
  • John Henry Davidson

    Kudos on the Bobby D. references. Also, have a heart you chaps attacking Taki. If I’m still half the romantic he is when (if!) I reach his age, I’ll consider my life well lived.

  • Baron

    The man is a full brain short of a cranium, at his age he wouldn’t know what to do with her.

  • Sarah


    Man meets woman, thinks she’s sweet and pretty, pretty and sweet, considers this grounds for a relationship. The end. Is anyone being paid for this?

  • S.M. MacLean

    Poor Taki … just two ships that met in the night…

Can't find your Web ID? Click here