Goodbye Nadine Dorries, hello Louise Mensch

7 November 2012

10:29 AM

7 November 2012

10:29 AM

Let me salute Nadine Dorries’s principled ambition to bring I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here to a wider audience. For too long this edifying documentary series, which sheds light on the concerns of real voters, has been closed to Westminster’s lumpen commentariat; but no more: by inviting Nadine on the show, ITV has signalled its intention to stop treating MPs, lobbyists and political hacks as if they don’t exist. We do exist and we’ll be following our plucky heroine as she meets the challenges of the rainforest. We’ll be voting as well. (Many times, of course: fixing polls is one of our specialities.)

Ms Dorries’ career is being closely monitored by her homesick former colleague Louise Mensch, who has taken time out from cheerleading for Mitt Romney and writing for the Sun to tweet obsessively about the jungle-bound Tory matron. ‘Just imagining the scene in the whips’ office if I said I wanted to skip Parliament for weeks to go on a celebrity TV show. #notpretty,’ she confided dreamily.

It seems obvious to me that the beautiful Mrs Mensch can’t kick her addiction to British politics. Best remedy: an early return to parliament. Luckily, there’s a by-election coming up this month in Corby, which used to be a safe Tory seat. Worth a shot, Louise?

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Show comments
  • rndtechnologies786

    Nice blog.

  • Jemima Khant

    ..and besides, the Mensch is dead…..

  • Forlornehope


  • EJ

    It’s ALL about YOU, isn’t it Louise?

  • sandywinder

    And we wonder why there are so few women in parliament.

    • Sarah

      Do we?

      I thought it was obvious: because of blokes – like the one who wrote this article.

      • EJ

        No it’s because so many of them are bitter old crones with massive chips on their shoulders. Now put the dinner on, love.

        • Sarah

          You put the dinner on you bitter old, shop-lifting, droning, Master Chef.

          A.K.A. Ed-MicrowaveDinnerForOne-die.

    • FrederickForeskin

      Because all the men are off bumming kids in children’s homes up and down the country?

      • Sarah

        Or setting fire to them. Or stabbing them in quarries. Or chucking them off balconies, or killing them in fatal collisions, or sending drone strikes to wipe them out, or strapping explosive vests to themselves and blowing them to pieces. Or burying their girlfriends alive or shooting them with cross bows, or drugging women they’ve met in bars, or following them home, or breaking into their flats, or committing sexual misdemeanors in their sleep, or masturbating over top tip films on all of the above.

        Or selecting themselves to run the banks, selecting themselves to run companies, selecting themselves to run religions, selecting themselves to run education, selecting themselves to run the media, selecting themselves to run the free press, selecting themselves to fill every information channel, awarding themselves medals and prizes and big prize ceremonies they put on. Then spending 10 million pounds on a balloon to take them into space where they can leap out and prove what great guys they are.

        Busy little bees, it’s a wonder they find time to select themselves to run the country and whine like babies about the dangers of positive discrimination.

        • FrederickForeskin

          Jesus Christ love, you got some real issues. Did daddy tuck you in too tight when you were little?

    • D B

      There are still too many. Time for a purge – staring with Harriet Harperson and Yvette Cooper.

  • Orson_Cart

    Tweets from Mensch & Dorries shine a bright light on their low grade contribution to politics.

    • 2trueblue

      Shows what happens when you insist on women only lists. Don’t interfere with selection, or insist on quotas.

  • MikeBrighton

    I wish she would just hurry up and get on the plane to the States. Good riddance to a politician far more interested in her personal advancement than her constituents

  • Tom

    No association would ever choose Mensch after the mess she’s made in Corby, and rightly so.

    • milliboot

      What mess has she made in Corby ?