Blogs

Are you a ‘suspicious striver’?

7 October 2012

12:17 PM

7 October 2012

12:17 PM

I have always wanted to be part of that tranche of voters identified by pollsters as being crucial in general elections. But it never happens. Every few years arseholes in fashionable spectacles coin some new description of a bunch of people who they believe hold the keys to 10 Downing Street – and every time I feel myself excluded. An entirely absent vagina and an inability to drive a car disqualified me from being either a Worcester Woman or a Mondeo Man. Also, I have an irrational dislike of Worcestershire, and especially Malvern.

Now we are being told that the next general election will be decided by a group of people who comprise the hitherto unheard of subset “suspicious strivers”. I am not one of these, either. I hoped this time around that the crucial voters would be credulous and lazy. Or gullible and bone idle, maybe. I would have fitted right in there. Are people like me of no consequence? And have you ever met anyone who you would characterise as a “suspicious striver”? Isn’t it all just smoke and mirrors?

Subscribe to The Spectator today for a quality of argument not found in any other publication. Get more Spectator for less – just £12 for 12 issues.


Show comments
  • rndtechnologies786

    Nice blog

  • Hexhamgeezer

    I think I’m a non-consenter. Someone who never was asked for his consent fresh or otherwise.
    Didn’t Elvis sing about ‘Suspicious Strives’ ?

  • Weygand

    If you don’t drive, you may have met a few bus strivers.

  • Django Peg

    Eddie, how do you know Sarah is even a woman?

    • Eddie

      Good point. Maybe she has a vagina and maybe she doesn’t – but I am sure she self-identifies as a woman anyway – and that is the law now: you are what you say you are, so if I said I was a black man and a member of the juju pygmy tribe of south-central Milton Keynes, then you’d have to acknowledge that and respect me for who I am!
      To be honest, Sarah seems so angry and spitting with hissy manhating rage all the time, than even if she ever were a woman, she’s probably forgotten she has a vagina anyway! Can’t see any sane man going anywhere near that misandrist muff!
      Or maybe she’s just bi-furious?

  • Baron

    Lord Ashcroft made alot of money, he must be clever, we should listen to him, avoid dismissing his ideas hastily only because we aren’t in the suspicious strivers group of voters.

    Instead, here’s what we should do, all of us, the vaginless, the cynical scroungers, the bone idle and all. We should go amongst the people and ask each and everyone we meet: “Listen, mate, would I be right thinking that you do not expect too much from the government, oppose penalising top earners with very high taxes, and also value flexible labour markets?”

    If the prospective voter so approached doesn’t kick us in the groin but answers in the affirmative, we should adopt him forthwith, ply him with compliments whilst gently forcing him to vote at the next general election for the party Lord Ashcroft is a member of.

    This is how one should approach the stellar efforts of the enterprising Lord in identifying where the voting power lies, smirking at his industry will never ensure the party that so closely echoes the aspirations of the plebians be ever in power again.

  • In2minds

    Obama is inviting people to vote with their ‘lady parts’, that makes me suspicious.

  • In2minds

    Obama is inviting people to vote with their ‘lady parts’, that makes me suspicious.

  • In2minds

    Obama is inviting people to vote with their ‘lady parts’, that makes me suspicious.

  • Lungfish

    Is a ‘suspicious striver’ someone who has to work to top up their bank account but suspects that many politicians ,such as Keith Vaz for example, don’t? If so I think I may be one.

    • Robert Taggart

      PRD E… striving or struggling ?
      Sounds positively hazardous… electrics and water !
      Best of luck in these testing / testy times.

  • Lungfish

    Is a ‘suspicious striver’ someone who has to work to top up their bank account but suspects that many politicians ,such as Keith Vaz for example, don’t? If so I think I may be one.

  • Austin Barry

    How about the “Lamp Post Lobby” – the silent majority which thinks that our governing elite should be strung up by its heels to howls of execration, free beer and pies?

  • Lungfish

    Is a ‘suspicious striver’ someone who has to work to top up their bank account but suspects that some politicians (eg. Keith Vaz) don’t- if so, I may well be one.

  • Lungfish

    Is a ‘suspicious striver’ someone who has to work to top up their bank account but suspects that some politicians (eg. Keith Vaz) don’t- if so, I may well be one.

  • Austin Barry

    “Couch Crusaders” (Islamophopic welfare recipients).

  • Colonel Mustard

    I’m a foggy snug man and think it’s 1954 when I wake up but apart from that I’m indistinguishable from Shropshire man. At the moment I’m in the library with a low energy light bulb in the standard lamp – as dim as some of the trolls here but even so slightly more useful.

  • Frank Sutton

    Inability to drive doesn’t disqualify you from being a Mondeo Man

  • Eddie

    Oh gawd help us from the dribbling of marketing and PR agencies…
    All I know is that most people who vote, vote just the way their parents did, and most just follow their social class identity.
    Ergo, most votes cancel each other out, and only a few floating voters decide who wins an election, even a landslide (plus those who stay away from the polls).
    So that tiny number of voters – less than 10% of the electorate, maybe less than 5% – are the ones the political parties flatter and try to bribe with perks of various kinds: expect lots of ‘aren’t women marvellous and better than men’ guff from Cameron and Millitant, a la Blair: the women’s vote – usually Conservative more than men’s – does really matter, and wome are so emotional and love being flattered, that that’ll be the strategy; men look more at the economy, money in their pockets, tax rates etc.
    Call this group whatever you want – Worcester Woman, Mondeo man, Suspicious Strivers (don’t think that one’ll stick missus!), it all means the same: floating voters of the aspirational working class who think they’re middle class.
    Me, I shall spoil my ballot probably. No point voting round here where a hedgehog with a red rosette would win under first past the post. Also, no politicians make the effort to get my vote or represent me at all, so busy are they sucking up to women and ‘hard-working families’ blah blah blah.
    Can someone remind me again why millionaire mums get child benefit?

    • Sarah

      “women are so emotional and love being flattered”

      You know Ed, anger, rage, frustration, jealousy, feeling of inadequacy are emotions too. But you sure are purdy.

      • Eddie

        All research shows that this is indeed the case, which is why spindoctors instruct politicians to learn to appeal to female voters by making everything emotional, about family and emotions, not hard facts and economic figures: this is the feminisation of our age of course and why reality TV and chat show pity parties have infected our TV screens like thrush.
        Women are also utter suckers for flattery: when Blair sat on a morning TV sofa and said ‘my wife is more intelligent and able than I am’ he was manipulating women to vote for him – and the thing is most women seem too thick to realise it!
        If you want your photocopying done at work or a cup of tea made for you, just flatter a woman: say ‘ooo have you lost weight’ or ‘I like your hair’ or ‘you know, I really do think women are more intelligent than men’ and you’ll get some dixxy bint to wait on you hand and foot and do all your photocopying! I know – I’ve done it, and I have met some real experts in my time (including men who became feminists at university just to up their shag rate!)
        I do not feel inadequate and do not envy women (jealously is something else, love – look it up). Stupid loudmouth hypocrites like you make me angry – because idiots like you seem to run the world – but mostly, I laugh at twerps like you!
        Because you see your obsession with hating men is so utterly pointless and gets you nowhere: I am sure if you spent the time more productively, you could probably be is a position of lower-middle management Sarah, rather than earning minimum wage and going home to an empty lonely rented flat…

  • Daniel Maris

    This is a good game:

    Wiltshire Man – unhealthy interest in guns and premeditated violence. Will vote for anyone who promises to castrate rapists even though both his uncles were rapists.

    Shropshire Man – Do not disturb – fast asleep in comfy armchair in chintzy drawing room with standard lamp. Will vote for anyone who is prepared to pretend it is 1957 when he finally wakes up.

  • Robert Taggart

    Where does this leave Moi ?…
    A bespectacled cynical scrounger !

  • Sarah

    “An entirely absent vagina … disqualified me from being either a Worcester Woman”

    Some women don’t have vaginas.

    That’s a clue by the way.

    • Eddie

      Nope – women sawn in half don’t (if one considers the woman to be the end with the dizzy dopey head attached).
      All I know is that some who claim to be women talk the biggest load of total old cock ever, anyway.
      Is that what you mean, woman?

      • Sarah

        Vaginal atresia, Müllerian agenesis.

        Or – sawn in half, well sort of yes. Well done for trying.

        No one could accuse you of having androgen insensitivity syndrome. You have a larger than normal penis, unfortunately it grows out of your head. Luckily you spend most of your time hanging upside down so it turned out to be quite a useful mutation.

        • Eddie

          Yes, dear…
          Thank you for letting us all know about those vagina-eating diseases, though one sounds more like a brand of yoghurt.
          However, any intelligent person could assume that when someone uses the word ‘women’ it is not unreasonable to assume they are all in possession of a vagina.
          Or, as you no doubt would put it:
          “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman not in possession of a vagina must have caught Mullerian agenesis’ from a toilet seat…”
          Good to know that the next time a baby is born without a vagina and with a penis instead, you would no doubt insist that the medics classify the mewling babe as ‘FEMALE’.
          Ho hum…
          So now we know that having a vagina or meat n two veg is in no way a reliable way to identify anyone’s sex. Well, thank goodness for that – there were we calling those with willies ‘men’ and those with vaginas ‘women’ – how grateful we all are that the great Sarah has let us know that we are human civilisation has been totally Pete Tong for thousands of years. Blimey!
          You ARE comedy, Sarah – and far funnier than all those ever-unfunny 4th rate ‘comediennes’ who owe their BBC TV careers to sex discrimination (ie positive action).

        • Eddie

          “Vaginal Atresia, Müllerian Agenesis”
          Aren’t they upper-middle-class jolly hockeysticks female BBC TV producers from Chiswick or Hampstead?
          Like Fallopia Snails, Chlamydia Slocome, and Callostoma Piles? (The latter’s food show on BBC2 is particularly cutting edge…)
          I think we should be told…

    • seahorse steve

      well i used to know a woman with acute angina.
      does that count?

      • Sarah

        Count as what?

        Following in Rod’s footsteps to gratuitously and crassly use body parts to define womanhood? Not really.
        Following in Rod’s footsteps to create a BBC-esque locker-room atmosphere at The Spectator? It’s getting there.
        Following in Rod’s footsteps to gratuitously and crassly use sex to lazily and subtly demean women? Yes, I think it qualifies.

        • Edwina

          Oh yes, Rod is such an evil man for gratuitously and crassly assuming that women have vaginas and those that lack them are not women at all, and are like, er, men…
          How very dare he!
          He has committed a sin tantamount to rape and fascism combined in some sort of hate sandwich!
          Only one thing to do with such evil men:
          Let’s castrate him for this crime against womanhood!
          Come on sisters, let’s woman the barricades and throw Rod down a womanhole, then drag him up again and make him pay for being an evil man perpetuating the utter lie that members of the female sex possess vaginas!
          In a world free from patriarchy all those without vaginas would also be called women, because having a vag is no evidence at all of womanhood. Though one wonders Sarah if you have actually asked the opinion of any (normal) women about all this…

          • Angela

            “let’s woman the barricades and throw Rod down a womanhole”

            That is quite funny.

          • Sarah

            No he gratuitously and crassly used vagina to define female because he really wanted to say vagina in this article? In fact “vagina” was the thing that prompted the article in the first place.

            He could have said “two whole human chromosomes rather than one and three quarters”.

            You don’t have to be evil to go for the sexist laughs when you’re heart’s not quite in it. You just have to be tired of your job and starting to have doubts about your marriage.

        • Angela

          Did he do all that? I’m amazed. I thought he had just disqualified himself from being Worcestershire Woman and Mondeo Man in a mildly humorous way. How should he have defined himself as not being a woman so as not to trip your hair trigger offence fuse?

          Is there a book of rules somewhere?

          • Sarah

            Have a little think about other ways of defining what a man or a woman is rather than relying solely on their genitals.

            See if you can come up with your own book of rules about how to talk about human beings.

Close